my 3 year old daughter speaks in our house, but

Mu 3 year old daughter speaks in our house, but has never said a word to anyone in school. Not even to go to the bathroom, she'll motion but never has said anything to anyone?? Help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Selective mutism, the name for your daughter's condition, is often associated with anxiety, though it is not regarded specifically as an anxiety disorder. Most children who display selective mutism possess the capacity for normal speech and language, as you can see with your daughter. It's just that they utilize their normal speech and language abilities only in certain situations. Usually speech/language therapy per se is not useful for such children, though some forms of group speech/language therapy (focusing on the pragmatics of communication) might be helpful. Likewise, cognitive-behavior therapy, focusing on the anxiety such children usually display in out-of-home settings, can be useful. As you consider intervention, it is important to obtain accurate diagnosis.  Following is an article that you might useful:

selectivemutismcenter.org/contemp.htm

[jdtm]

Most children who suffer from selective mutism also have severe social anxiety.  The best site on the internet to find information is "selectivemutism.org" where you will find excellent FAQ's to overview this disorder as well as many resources and treatment options.  CBT is one of the best way to treat sm; however, in my area, the medical professionals will not accept a client unless he/she is at least eight years of age.  One book that I might suggest you purchase and donate to your daughter's school is "The Ideal Classroom Setting for the Selectively Mute Child" by Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum.  You will probably require this book when your daughter begins kindergarten (and frankly, I think it is worth its weight in gold).

Please do not wait to get help for your daughter as the fears/stresses/anxieties she feels (although I doubt if she will be able to verbalize them) will not go away nor will your daughter outgrow them.  But, an early diagnosis brings an excellent prognosis and the path to managing one's fears can be much shorter for such a young child.   Please write if you think I might be able to be of more assistance.  I wish you the best ....