my 4 year old daughter keeps touching other kids privates. Normal?
I have a five year old daughter who is the middle child. She was the perfect, loving sweetest baby until I had my son which are 15 mo apart. The day she saw him was the day she turned into an angry, deviant and naughty child. She would bite, pinch, scream and punch who ever was holding him. Since then she has been progressively getting worse despite our efforts to have special times with just her. And just recently she started to exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviour.
We had some friends over for dinner and we caught her laying on top of a 5 year old boy kissing him, which that in itself we were not to concerned with, we just told her that was not ok. That night she had a sleep over and the little girl told us that my girl had asked her to kiss her privates. The girl said she didn't do it. Since then she has wanting to run around naked when we have any male company, and actually pokes them including her dad in the privates.
We had to quit taking showers or baths with her earlier than we did with the other two just because she is so interested in all the parts. It is also hard to snuggle and kiss her because she wants to kiss in a couples manner.
I feel she has a distorted view of boys and girls just for the mere fact that she is obsessed with princesses and fairy tales and love stories. I know for a fact she has never seen her dad and I intimate, and I am fairly sure she has not been molested by an adult. But that is not to say another child hasn't done something. I guess my question is, does this sound normal and how should i deal with this? Help!!
It sounds normal to me, I worked in a daycare and the boys and girls around ages 4 up to 6, would like to go in the bathroom and sometimes pull there pants down and show the other kids, and we would just tell them that's not okay to show other people that area. So I wouldn't be too worried about it, but since she is going through this right now I would definitely elminiate anytime she has with other kids, or have it very supervised. So absolutely NO sleep overs for a while, and if she has a friend over at your house you need to ALWAYS watch them, and don't let her play at anyone's house right now. She is probably getting more attention by doing this , even if it is negative attention, she still loves it. So you need to just remind her it's not okay to show your privates or to touch other people's privates, and if you see her touching her dad's private area, or anythign else then she needs to have a consequence like not tv or dessert for the rest of the day or something like that. I mean, don't make it a huge deal, but she could be doing it for attention, because she knows she gets attention. good luck
I don't believe the extent of this behavior is normal. You should explain that if she wants to touch herself she can do that in the privacy of her own room, but that it is not ok to ask others or to touch others inappropriately. You also need to set boundaries so you knows what is acceptable and what isnt which means you are going to have to sit her down and talk about kissing and anything else she is doing. You can call your pediatrician to discuss these behaviors. but it should stop as this goes beyond normal curiosity for this age
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