my 4 year old son is having some issues

[andrewtaylorsmom]

My 4 year old son is a very bright little boy extremely independent. he has seperation issues with just me. he has to sleep with me and my husband at night and constantly has to have atleast his foot touching me. if i get out of bed at 3 am he is out of bed. he also is extremely obsessive about how his food is. if i give him a hamburger on a bun and the bun has a crack. he loses his mind. if he has a poptart and a corner breaks off he will not eat it. no matter what. if at dinner time if his mac n cheese touches his corn. his dinner is ruined he wont eat for the rest of the night. some poeple say he is very spoiled but i think there is some kind of underlying problem. i just dont know what. he is very stubborn. when he wants something he wants it now. or he has a complete meltdown for hours. i dont know what to do. or if i should have him evaluated. where should I go from here?

[supermomma531]

First of all, the melt downs are just temper tantrums and it sounds like he is used to getting what he wants but I hope that I am wrong. The food thing sounds like OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder. The way you have described him during meals is exactly what my ex-boss is like. She has been diagnosed with OCD. Has there been any severe issues of separation from you since he has been born? His issues with sleeping with you sounds like separation anxiety. None of can be diagnosed by anyone but a doctor. Possibly a child psychologist or a child psychiatrist. Referrals through the family doctor is needed. But having said this, some of the issue is that he is getting what he wants because of the temper tantrums such as being allowed to sleep with you and your husband. This needs to stop. Nothing else will work but continual insistence on your part with your husband to make him sleep in his own bed. This will take a long time of being persistent. It will definitely be a fight but it will work. Use a reward system with him. For every night that he sleeps in his own bed for the whole night, he gets a star or sticker. If he spends the whole week in his own bed, then maybe taking him out to the park or for a special event such as MacDonald' s  or something to this effect will work. Kids love to be rewarded. You may have to change the reward system after a while, but he'll keep on working for whatever he sees as a gain to himself.Hopefully this will help. I would definitely suggest taking him to a doctor for medical help with the other issues though. Explain to the doctor about everything going on with him. It certainly doesn't hurt to try. There could be more of a underlying condition there that maybe hard to diagnose or see. Or maybe not well known about. Good Luck.