my 5 year old is out of control

[nick1018]

I have a 5 year old and he loves his private school and is great at schools listens and does everything great..When He is home he is out of control..I feel like there is something mentally wrong. I don't know what to do..We get home from school and he wants to go outside..I say OK after we eat you can play for 1 hr..No way that's when everything starts.. yelling screaming spitting at me hitting his little brother kicking the wall trashing the house.. I go over a try to calm him down but that does not work I spank him and he laughs at me.. He says.. oh that don't hurt mommy and keeps going..this will go on hour an hours or more.. I try to put him in time out and that doesn't work..I try to put him in his room but he only gets worst..I tell if you keep doing this you will not go out and he gets more and more angry..Bed time is crazy..It take over a hour of me going up and down till he finally settles in and falls a sleep..On the weekends its play time for him all he wants to do is play from 7am till after 9pm non stop out side with the heat at 90-95..I got him a pool and lots of toys but no way.. he wants the front yard and the street to play and if I tell him no or not now he goes crazy..I make all of his friends come over and play but he fights with them or he will try to make them do things so I will send them home..I don't understand. what is going on..He is great one minute and a monster in another Help..I even took him to a psychologist and they said he just acts like a 5year old boy.. and its me and my husband that need the therapy..The more I yell the more my son laughs at me Even with his dad or grandparents..Nick is always in trouble. I feel so bad He gets everything he wants and needs..He was very sick as a child and was in ICU has nocomiun aspiration and had a 5% chance to live..A miracle happened and Nick was fine after a month..At the age of 3 we found out that nick had a hearing loss and needs hearing aids..He can hear you but he had a loss of high pitch sounds..The medicine that they gave him in the hospital was what caused this hearing loss..Please give me advice I don't know what to do and how to control him..I see a monster in this child and he gets happy only if other people are sad..He tries to hurt my 3 year old child and then lies about it. I hate to go to my friends house because my son is out of control..please help Thank You for listening

[margypops]

I partly agree with the psychologist you saw, it is the parenting that could be addressed here,and some councilling for both of you wont hurt. Spanking is a negative behavior and has been proved not to work to control,he gets the attention he craves by behaving in a way knows will drive you to do that and in his eyes negative attention is better than none.Why cant he go straight out side to play why does he have to eat first? if he feels he isnt hungry how does that affect you? why so many rules.There is possibly some jealousy of the younger brother here who may get a lot of positive attention, this little boy of only 5 years old has enough to deal with if he has a hearing issue he needs care and love. I would suggest you both get help for your selves