my 5 year old step daughter cute off our pet turtles feet...HELP!!!PLEASE!!!

[cbc1989]

my 5 year old step daughter is out of control...she does the same things over and over and no matter what we do she keeps doing it...over the past year her behavior has goten way wores. It when from just not listening to distructive and physical...she is now hurting her little brother, sister and our pets. we are at the point where she can not be left alone at all at we even have locks on all the doors and cabenits in the house out of fear of what she will do next...her 2 year old sister is terrified of her. over the past week she asked if her and her sister could go in her room to play...out of bad jugment i told her yes as long as she left the door open...not even 20 minuts later the younger one was scream i ran in the room to find the 5 year old cuting the 2 year olds hand open with a light bulb that she broke. she looks at me like it means nothing, then she blams it on her younger sister. then the very next day she randomaly came up to me and her dad and sed the cat eat the turtles feet (we do not have a cat). i found the turtle alive but with no feet and laying next to the turtle was his feet and a bloody fork...after we found the fork she addmitted to doing it in the middle of the night. her dad is in complet denial. he says she doesnt know what she is doing and she is just 5 years old that she is acting out...I know there is something seriously wrong with her but im just the step mom....i dont know what to do...and i dont think i can live being scared of a child...HELP!!! PLEASE!!!

[Sandman2]

    Wow!  ok, part of this is certainly attention getting.  With a 1 and 2 year old around, I would guess that she does not get a lot of attention (which is very understandable).  For about 3 years, she got everybody's attention and then it all changed.   The classic answer is that she needs to feel like she is a part of the family. She needs some special time just for her.  She needs to feel like she is the big sister and the kids are part of her responsibility to protect.  She needs to feel needed.
   Now, having said this - her latest actions are scary.  They are unusual - and highly worrisome.  Up to that point, I would say her actions are not that unusual and are the type that can be corrected by following the book, "SOS Help for Parents" by Lynn Clark.  When you say, "no matter what we do she keeps doing it."  That is something that can be fixed, and the book will lay that out for you.  If you read other posts on this forum, you will see plenty that wrote in about 4 and 5 year olds doing the same thing.  For the most part, their concerns were exactly the same as yours.  These things can be dealt with.  But the cutting is a whole new ball game and something I have never seen on this forum.  I do think it is a cry for attention - but you really have to watch how you respond to this.
  I think - if you can afford it - it would be worth trying to get her into some type of daycare.  Even if its only for a few hours or just a day or two a week.  I think she needs to get out of the house (and you need the break).  If that can't work - as the weather - improves take everybody and head for the park.  Get outside, let her run around.  Stress to her that she is the big sister and has got to help and protect her siblings.  Give her little jobs to do to get that sense of responsibility.
  Do buy the book I mentioned.  It may well be the best investment you make.  There really is a method to raising kids.  Unfortunately, you don't have the time to try trial and error.  I think these things I have mentioned will make a difference.  If they don't, then yes - you will need professional help.  Good Luck!  Hopefully, a few other forum members will add their input.  

[cbc1989]

she isnt in school they would not let her start school this year cuz of where her b-day falls...she just turned 5 in march...
we have been together for 3 years..
.she is his daughter from a perivouse girlsfriend...whom is berly in the picture if any one would consider it she never comes around and she calls about once a month if that...
then we have two kids together a 2 year old and a one year old.  
She has never lisened to us when we like ask her to sit down and eat dinner or tell her it is bed time she would have tantrums things like that the, then it went to bigger things like she wouldnt use the potty she would go on the floor,
then The violence is recent with in the past year she has started beating up on her sister, and and brother. with in the past week is when she cute her sisters hand and then the turtle's feet....
She needs help but Im just the step mom...and thats what her dad is riding it off as im just the step mom and she is just acting out...im hoping that some one on her will say something insightful get him to read it and he will lisen...

[benjimom]

How does she do at school?  That is odd to cut off a turtle's feet.  Poor turtle.  How long have you been married to her dad, is it a recent thing?