my 6 1/2 year old is still wetting her pants

[bloree_99]

My 6 1/2 year old daughter wets her pants on a daily basis.  Usually more than once a day.  She is in the first grade and most days when I pick her up from school she is wet.  Her teacher is aware of this problem and has helped alot by sending her to use the restroom and rewarding her if she makes it a week without accidents.  She has learned very well to hide it now though and will lie that she has had one.  I basically have to force her to clean up and change into dry clothes.  She seems to preoccupied to just go in and use the bathroom.  I have had her to many different doctors and they all just say it is behavioral but if it is why would she be having accidents at school she likes school and wants to be there.  I am getting so frustrated things are getting ruined.  Even when I wash some of her clothes they seem to still have the smell b/c she has had so many accidents in them.  Any suggestions on how to get her to just go in and go.  She is also has some very aggressive behaviors such as throwing things at people and throwing fits for the smallest things.


This discussion is related to 7 year old girl still wets her pants.

[eilyf]

I can so relate. I posted in another, similar topic, but I wanted to pop in here as well. Your daughter sounds so much like mine! My seven year old wets herself too, and will also lie/deny that she has had one. She has gotten better about that during the past year, and will now go and change without an argument when I tell her to, but she often gets upset and cries when I tell her she's had an accident. I feel really bad for her. I don't care so much about her clothes getting ruined, but it does upset me when she pees on our furniture, which has happened several times. I know she's not doing it on purpose, and I know she is bothered by it, but she shuts down when I try to discuss it with her. I used to lose my temper more about it, but I have been very careful about that for awhile now. It only makes things worse, and I know it's not her fault. Sometimes I feel like I messed up somehow with her potty training, which is upsetting, but I don't know if that's true or not.

My daughter also is very sensitive and can get very upset, very quickly. She isn't physically aggressive like you mentioned your daughter is, but she does sometimes get very, very angry.

She has had more success this year in school, and has only had one accident. She had many of them last year in kindergarten, though. It was very stressful for both of us. So far, fortunately, no one seems to be teasing her about it. She is shy and not very confident though, and I think it's a combination of her normal personality (which is similar to mine) and a lack of confidence stemming from this problem. I really want to help her, but I don't know what to do other than what I am doing, which is trying to find ways for her to manage the problem. I am assuming that eventually it will be important enough to her to stay dry that she will schedule her own bathroom visits if she is still unable to tell when she needs to go. For now, I help her do that. Sometimes it works, sometimes she has accidents.

It seems that some days she will have many accidents in a short period of time- like you mentioned, sometimes it will happen shortly after she uses the bathroom. From what I've learned, it's because she isn't fully emptying her bladder at these times. What we do before bed is have her go twice, about 15-20 minutes apart (at the beginning of her bedtime routine, and again right before going to bed). It has helped a lot, and she is usually dry at night now. She wears an alarm, which almost never goes off- I think it helps her to stay focused, knowing it is on there. Sometimes I'm tempted to make her wear it all day!

I know how frustrating this can be. Feel free to contact me if you want to commiserate or share tips.

[benjimom]

What does the pediatrician say about the aggressive behaviors and throwing fits.  my five year old still has fits and sometimes is aggressive.  

I wish I had an answer for you about the urine.  I will try to look it up on the internet.  Have they checked her for a urinary tract infection?  It sounds like it bothers everyone but her.