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my 6yr old son is acting out sexually at school
My 6 yr old son goes to a behavioral school hes in first grade and has been acting out worse than when he was in the elementary school they are more violent and now sexual. Today he pulled down his pants on the bus and showed the other children his private parts, yesterday he climbed the bathroom stall at school and was watching another student going the bathroom and started spitting on him, I don't know what to do anymore I'm at a loss , Im a single mother of 2 and have tried everything I can think of. Please Help!!!!
If there is anything I have learned from my behavioural psychology classes, it's that all bad behaviour persists when you reinforce it... Think about how you or the school 'punishes' him or deals with these behaviours. What is it that makes him do these behaviours? Like, is he angry or bored at school, looking for attention, wanting to see another person get annoyed with him?
Something in his environment might signal him to act inappropriately. Find the common theme, and then think about how you should teach him how to behave in these situations.
Sometimes punishments can actually reinforce bad behaviour. For example, the kid in the store throwing a temper tantrum and the mother is screaming her head off, the kid keeps trantruming because he is getting attention from his mother; in this case, yelling is not a punishment. The punishment is actually reinforcing the behaviour instead of ending it.
I'd suggest seeing a reputable behavioural psychologist if things don't improve or if you can't pinpoint the cause. They'll identify why it is your kid is acting this way and develop ways for him to behave appropriately.
But honestly, I agree with specialmom and RockRose. These behaviours aren't really that out of the norm... Young kids especially are curious about other people's bodies and their own. It's possible, as I said earlier, that his behaviours have become more frequent because his behaviours are being reinforced in some way. People obviously pay attention to him when he's getting in trouble...
You say he goes to a 'behavioural school'; is it possible they aren't providing him with the reinforcement he needs to act 'appropriately'? I'd suggest trying to reward his good behaviour often and focus more on the good things about him than the bad; he'd learn that if he behaves nicely, he'll be rewarded with attention, candy, whatever, and soon he'll grow an intrinsic desire to just behave without being rewarded. It happens all the time... we don't reward people for flushing the toilet, but when they were getting potty trained their parents probably gave them a lot of hugs and reinforcement until they gradually reinforced them less and less and the behaviour became second-nature.
Remember, he's not a 'bad kid', just a poorly trained kid that can be trained to behave in a more socially acceptable fashion. Never let him think HE is bad, let him know his BAD BEHAVIOUR is bad.
Something in his environment might signal him to act inappropriately. Find the common theme, and then think about how you should teach him how to behave in these situations.
Sometimes punishments can actually reinforce bad behaviour. For example, the kid in the store throwing a temper tantrum and the mother is screaming her head off, the kid keeps trantruming because he is getting attention from his mother; in this case, yelling is not a punishment. The punishment is actually reinforcing the behaviour instead of ending it.
I'd suggest seeing a reputable behavioural psychologist if things don't improve or if you can't pinpoint the cause. They'll identify why it is your kid is acting this way and develop ways for him to behave appropriately.
But honestly, I agree with specialmom and RockRose. These behaviours aren't really that out of the norm... Young kids especially are curious about other people's bodies and their own. It's possible, as I said earlier, that his behaviours have become more frequent because his behaviours are being reinforced in some way. People obviously pay attention to him when he's getting in trouble...
You say he goes to a 'behavioural school'; is it possible they aren't providing him with the reinforcement he needs to act 'appropriately'? I'd suggest trying to reward his good behaviour often and focus more on the good things about him than the bad; he'd learn that if he behaves nicely, he'll be rewarded with attention, candy, whatever, and soon he'll grow an intrinsic desire to just behave without being rewarded. It happens all the time... we don't reward people for flushing the toilet, but when they were getting potty trained their parents probably gave them a lot of hugs and reinforcement until they gradually reinforced them less and less and the behaviour became second-nature.
Remember, he's not a 'bad kid', just a poorly trained kid that can be trained to behave in a more socially acceptable fashion. Never let him think HE is bad, let him know his BAD BEHAVIOUR is bad.
I agree with specialmom, and I don't find these behaviors that far out of the norm. Not sexual.
He doesn't seem to have much impulse control. Is he on any medications?
But I don't think these are off the deep end behaviors - I can certainly remember first grade boys who flashed their junk once of twice, and climbing on to the toilet and "spying" on someone to startle them was also something that was done when I was in elementary school. It's on par with a kid hiding behind a door and jumping out to scare someone, IMHO.
He doesn't seem to have much impulse control. Is he on any medications?
But I don't think these are off the deep end behaviors - I can certainly remember first grade boys who flashed their junk once of twice, and climbing on to the toilet and "spying" on someone to startle them was also something that was done when I was in elementary school. It's on par with a kid hiding behind a door and jumping out to scare someone, IMHO.
Do these things happen mostly at school or do you have these same issues at home?
Is the school suggesting anything? Are they planning on evaluating him?
What does he say when you ask why (and not in an angry way) he wanted to upset people by pulling down his pants (is he immature and trying to get attention any way he can?? Was he trying to be funny? Was he trying to upset them?)---- why he climbed the stall and spit?? (by the way, I don't see these as sexual things but screams for attention and aggressive things)
Your boy is acting out---------- why do you think that is?
Is the school suggesting anything? Are they planning on evaluating him?
What does he say when you ask why (and not in an angry way) he wanted to upset people by pulling down his pants (is he immature and trying to get attention any way he can?? Was he trying to be funny? Was he trying to upset them?)---- why he climbed the stall and spit?? (by the way, I don't see these as sexual things but screams for attention and aggressive things)
Your boy is acting out---------- why do you think that is?
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