my 8 year old step son lies, destructive, manipulative, and feels no remorse

[needhelp4kids]

I am at my wits end with my step son who is 8 years old. He constantly lies and manipulation people. he breaks things around our house. poop on the floor. he lies to get our three other children in trouble all the time. he shows no remorse for anything he has done. he bold face lies even when we see him do things. he had on occasion intentionally hurt our other children and doesn't care. he struggles in school with inappropriate  behavior. he is so good at manipulations that he fools other people school teachers, family members and counselors into cleaving he has done nothing or that it is someone else's fault. my boyfriend sees most of this but doesn't see the fact he doesn't care about any of his actions. I am eight months pregnant and this will be our fifth child I don't know what to do I stay at home with the kids and I can't take his behavior any more. I have tried rewarding him , time outs , negative punishments and taking everything away none of this changes his actions I don't know what to do please help me. i feel as though I am punishing the other kids in my home by having him live here i don't want him to leave i love all the kids but i don't know of any other option. this will also result in all of the kids being effected as well because i know his dad will move out with him .....

[Sandman2]

   Very good points by specialmom!  
Where is this child age wise in relation to the other kids.  Is he the oldest?  middle child, etc.?
  Also, you said he, " he struggles in school with inappropriate  behavior. he is so good at manipulations that he fools other people school teachers."  If he has inappropriate behavior at school, then his teachers must recognize this?  So have they reported this behavior to you?  Also, how is he doing grade wise?

[specialmom]

Hi and welcome.  Well, he certainly sounds like a boy in turmoil.  Do you this can often come about due to issues of parents separating?  A child feels untethered and quite emotional about it and lacking in true security.  Kids then appear to be acting out when in reality, they are under emotional distress.  Kids have limited ways to show that.  Another thought is that he's been neglected or abused.  What you describe is also what a child from that type of background exhibits.  OR could he have some mental health issues which would be very sad indeed!  Certainly not his fault in any of those three situations.  At 8, those are the most likely causes because I wouldn't guess he's possessed by the devil or anything.  

Kids often do what they see too.  I guess I should throw that in there as well.  

so, which of those scenarios do you feel it is?  

Now, what does your boyfriend do in terms of helping his son worth through these issues?  

I will say as a mother myself that if I felt like I were punishing my children by bring a man and his child into my house, I wouldn't bring the man and his child into my house.  I'm very practical and feel that not every situation we find ourselves in romantically is supposed to work out.  I broke up with boyfriends over the years for far less than that until I met my now husband.  

Kids in crisis need their parents to work together to help them.  What is your boyfriend doing to help his son?