my 9 year old son

[Janelle1981]

Good day I have a 9 year old son that doesn't retain information
i have done everything that i can think of to help him to remember
his schools say that he is just an average 9 year old boy but i feel that it goes deeper then this

they keep moving him to the next level but when we do review at home he knows nothing not how to spell words from 3years ago to not even remembering how to multiply add an subtract

i am extremely concerned that my son is going to get left behind from this issue

[Sandman2]

   You say that , "now as far as the math English and any other subject already taught to him  he is way below average for his age."   Is this based on school test results or on what you think he should be doing?  I have found that many times parents do not have a realistic idea of what a younger child should be able to do as their own experience was so long ago.
   For example, not to be able to spell words from 3 years ago is not unusual if they are words that he does not use or has not reviewed.  
    So there are two things going on here - either he is just being kind of a silly 9 year old boy or he has some educational problems.  The school must have done some kind of testing so that they can tell you statistically (compared to other kids) where he is educationally.  If not, then get some outside testing done.  Otherwise you will not know what the problem is - which means you can't adequately deal with it.  
   By the way, I assume he is in 4th grade.  When is his birthday?  Is he one of the youngest kids in the class?

[AnnieBrooke]

I like all of RockRose's suggestions, because if this is a real issue and the school is just pushing him along so they don't have to bother, that will be a future problem for him.  But I'm also with the question of how much it seems to be a rebellion against you asking him to review schoolwork at home.  Is there a subtle way for you to ask him things (not about schoolwork) that will give you a good idea of his retention?  Again, things like, "Do you remember that scene in (name a movie you watched with him) where (main character, get some part of it wrong so he will correct you) said to (another character) that (get the quote a little off)?"  See if he catches that kind of thing and corrects you.

Final suggestion:  much less screen time and a lot more physical activity.  Kids don't sleep as well if they watch TV or play on a computer right before bed, and they really don't sleep well if they aren't getting a lot of exercise, and sleep and exercise are key to brain development.

[RockRose]

Well I certainly agree with not letting time slip past if he is struggling.

Some kids don't read for content,  for whatever reason.  They read the passage,  even out loud,  so you KNOW the child has read it,  and have virtually no memory of what they read and can't synthesize it.  

If he watches a TV show,  or sees something happen in person can he synopsize it?  Like,  if he were to witness an altercation at McDonalds and you walked in and said wow what was happening there,  could he tell you? Can he answer direct questions about a book he's read,  as in "how did the boy break his leg",  but he can't do the more difficult task of summarizing the important themes in the book without particular questions?

At this point,  can you have him tested by someone outside the school system to see if he has average ability to retain lessons?

[Janelle1981]

I I tottaly agree with you and I will check it out with the school

Reading is actually the only thing that he does well but if you as him what was the book about no matter if it was a small book for a 3 year old or a novel for his age or even just a passage he doesn't remember

now as far as the math English and any other subject already taught to him  he is way below average for his age as he has an idea but to execute the task it becomes a major problem  at home and at school and all they continue to tell me is that its normal hes a boy when he settles down and stops being silly and playful he will catch up but I don't want it to be to late then i will have another hand full of problems on my hands

[ScalpMassager]

Home is not school and as suggested his behaviour may be very different at home (if he writes tests at schools, you could ask to see some of those).

[RockRose]

If the school thinks he is average,  do you think it's possible he's pretending he doesn't know the information so he doesn't have to drill at home?  

In general,  in school work does it appear he does understand the information,  and does well on classwork,  but at home he refuses to continue to review?

You're right to be concerned - studies show definitively that children who are not reading on grade level in 3rd grade are destined to struggle for the rest of their school careers - but I think you need further clarification on how successful he actually is academically.