my Ten year old does not sleep unless she is in my room

[Mommystired]

My 10 year old does not sleep!  at least thats how it seems to me. it is now 1 am and she is curled up on my bedroom floor because I am refusing to let her sleep in my bed.  Tonight I got angry with her and realized how frusterating this is to me.  I have a 15 yr old and a 13 yr old and never had this problem with them.  I know all the ins and outs of the bedtime routines and such.  from the dont make the other choices as comfy as her own bed, alway prompt the bed time in her own bed.  most of the time she will go to her bed without a problem, but wakes all glossy eyes and says, I cant sleep!  when you know that she has been sleeping for a few hours.  At this point you try to get her into her bed and its a no go!  She starts crying desprately.. whaling actually!  Very frusterating.  now after 1 am the entire house, likely the neighbourhood has been woke up..  I ask her and she does not recall bad dreams or anything disturbing... so whats the issue???  sometimes to avoid the fight she will waite until my lights are out and sneak into my room to sleep ON THE FLOOR!  why?  I dont understand.  Help me please


This discussion is related to 10 year old won't sleep on her own.

[treazzure007]

its possible that something has triggered her being afraid to sleep in her own room.  could be anything from something scary she saw on television to something she's heard school mates or children talk about ( like the mirror with bloody mary appearing or something like that).  she's probably not willing to talk about it b/c she's avoiding potential ridicule from her siblings and she identifies with her age being older than a younger child who may experience this.
if you talk to her about it, it should be very private and only kept between the two of you.  maybe she'd be more willing to open up about it.  if this is the cause, just be patient with her.  scary images forced onto impressionable minds just takes a while to die down

[mccabe]

Hi great to read your foram my 10 yr old sleeps in my bed most nights ,nearly every night if im honest and my very supportive husband sleeps in his bed. My sons problem started when he was 6, we were away for the night he and his little sister were at home with a sitter. He woke up being sick and because i was not there became very distressed ever since then was terrible if we went out at nightunless he was left with my mum, even then he would not go to bed until we were in . He started then sleeping in our bed on and off , every night would be so stressful for me with a battle at bedtime that i just gave in and let him stay in our bed. He gets so anxious about it a couple of times he has been sick. He has tried sleepovers but we have to pick him up. He is very happy and confident during the day and will go anywhere on his own. he loves school. Yr not alone, it really gets me down In two weeks he is going on a school trip for 2 nights, he wanted to go so we thought great this could be a breakthrough, but he cried last night before bed saying he is really worried about it. My husband sayes we should make him go. Good luck

[jdtm]

One of the red flags re anxiety is "sleeping" issues.  Are there any other behaviours that might indicate anxiety?  I might suggest you google the term "childhood anxiety" or something similar to see if any of the other behaviours remind you of your daughter.  If anxiety is the issue, she might not be able to tell you why she is unable to sleep alone.  I wish you the best ...