my b/f 16 yr old daughter hates me

my daughter and i have been living w/my boyfriend for the 6 months. he has a 16 yr old daughter who had lived w/him abt 95% of the time. now that we have moved in against her wishes, she hates me. at first we did things together but now she has decided to ruin our lives. we fight all the time. she is very actively in softball and has put a stop to me attending any games with my boyfriend. so, he leaves out of town almost every weekend and i have to stay behind. she doesnt believe that her father loves me. and tells him she feels betrayed and heart broken that we are there. her mother hates me and i believe she is behind all the hate. i told my boyfriend that she will come around but he says shes not. i don't know how to react to being left out of the traveling of the games. her mother has a boyfriend that lives with her and he gets to go. but her father isn't suppose to have a life? what can i say to him that will help her? and what can i tell myself to help me cope when i see him drive away? please help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It's important for you to take the high road. Of course it is difficult not to be embraced by her. But she's in a difficult situation. Now you and her father will have to work out how the decision gets made about who attends the games. It's probably better in the long run that you are deferring to her in this instance. This will certainly take time to heal, and all you can do is be a reasonable, patient person and take care not to recipriocate her rejection.