Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
my five year old is beginning to want to know his father
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
my five year old is beginning to want to know his father
by Amy, Feb 18, 2000 12:00AM
my five year old son has started asking more frequently to go see "his daddy". he wants to go on vacation to see him, he wants to call him and most of all he wants to know why he never does see him. his father has only seen him once in his life and he was six months old at the time, therefore has no recollection. his father has no interest in being involved, has never paid child support (although the financial status of our relationship would never hamper me from allowing him to see my son in a controlled invironment) and has a drug problem. he is totally irresponsible and the only time i ever hear from him is maybe once every 18 months when he claims he's ready to be involved. the last phone call was received in december of 98 and he swore up and down that he was ready but he really needed us all to do paternity testing for his own "peice of mind". granted he was looking for me to get upset over this because i have never asked him for anything to this day so why the test? BUT i kept my cool and told him i'd be happy to, all he had to do was pay for it and get all the info and i'd do whatever i could to help. the funny thing is, that was the last time i heard from him. how in the world do i explain to my five year old that his daddy doesn't WANT to see him or talk to him or have any communication from him. i have spent so many years receiving fathers day gifts from a confused kid and i would really love to be honest with him in the gentlest way i know how. any advice would be appreciated
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Feb 19, 2000 12:00AM
, Feb 19, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Amy,
The rule of thumb with a child so young is to tell the truth and keep it simple.
Here's an example of what I mean: We haven't heard from your daddy in a long time. I don't know why. (Note: If you don't know where your son's dad is, you can also say so.)
Do you have a picture of your son's father? If so, it's OK to show it to him. For now, the reality to which he must adapt is that he has a father who does not keep in touch.
Be sure not to criticize his father when you talk about his not keeping in touch.
The rule of thumb with a child so young is to tell the truth and keep it simple.
Here's an example of what I mean: We haven't heard from your daddy in a long time. I don't know why. (Note: If you don't know where your son's dad is, you can also say so.)
Do you have a picture of your son's father? If so, it's OK to show it to him. For now, the reality to which he must adapt is that he has a father who does not keep in touch.
Be sure not to criticize his father when you talk about his not keeping in touch.
Member Comments (1)
by ymmum, Aug 14, 2009 09:13AM
A related discussion, my 5yr old was started.
