my son refuses to "poop"

Question

My 4 yr old son also refuses to "poop" on the toilet.. he crosses his legs all the time and holds in in!!
Ive been to the dr.and the. pediatrition.!! and also have a child psycolgist come see him once every couple weeks.
He has taken laxitives .. Ive tried everything. Nothing has yet to work. He is now in jr kindergarden and has not yet had an accident at school and seems to be fine. until he gets home then starts to hold it in again. I have to change his underwear at least 7 times a day because only a little bit will come out.
I try to be postive also ive talked to him explained concequences that can happen if he doesnt go. Ive bribed him and still he will not go .. hes gone WEEKS without going. a month even. I dont understand what this is. I thaught he was the only one. Is there a name for this? and when do they grow out of it? what makes them scared? I dont get this at all. The dr did exrays and apparently theres nothing wrong with his bowels.
So why does he do it?
thank you!

This discussion is related to 4 Year Old Son Refuses to Poop.

deepbluesmile · Answer

HI guys, I'm having  this problem with my 4 year old. Did your situations resolve as they grew older?

Heather8448 · Answer

I know young kids dont like to poo in the potty because its like part of them leaving like a psych issue...my cousin grew up in a crack house and wasnt allowed to use the restroom so she learned to hold it...there could be many reasons but the all lead to psych issues has he seen a councelor? therapist?

Skoles · Answer

I am having same issues with my 7 year old!!! I'm at my wits end!! It's been going on since age 2! He holds it everywhere, in front of friends, hiding behind a tree, anywhere he has to.. Since he's older, I try rationalizing w him.. He held in 4 adult enemas last weekend.. Went to Er on Tuesday, took X-rays, he's backed up thru his descending intestines, transverse to his assending intestines... He just won't let it out!! He spends a lot of time w my grandparents & he's got her wrapped around his finger.. She thinks I'm too demanding about it but after 2 weeks of clearly holding it, yes I am demanding he goes!! We had to change do many plans over the years, swimming, sports, play dates, ect bc I refuse to take him in public holding it every few minutes.. (Although I don't tell him that).. In the summer, on a few occasions I would say "ur not going till u poop" & he would run right in & go (unbelievably Hugh but doesn't seem to hurt him anymore bc things r so stretched out) so I do believe he could go if he truly wanted to.. All I can think is that's it a control issue!!  Any help? Or any medical terms used for this? I'm trying to find anything tat will posdibly help! My other son is 3 & potty training, I'm scared he's going to start bc he copied everything his older brother does...
Also, he has NO shame! Neighborhood kids have said " just go poop" when they would b playing but he'd take a break to "look at a tree"..

jakesmomh · Answer

I wish I could help.  My son is now 4 years old and we have been dealing with this for over a year.  He will go a week in between poops-Every time.  It's definitely in his head, when he feels the urge to poop he will flop down on the floor and squeeze his butt so it won't come out.  Then he'll get on with what he was doing until it happens again and will just do that over and over again.  

We had a great 2 weeks when he went poop every single time he went potty, that was about 8 months ago...now we're back to this again.  We were using miralax for the longest time and while it made him want to poop more often, he would just end up pooping a bit in his underwear because he couldn't hold it anymore.  He will still sit on the toilet and scream and cry until it finally comes out. 

Today, we have had him on and off the toilet for going on 4 hours now.  It's Saturday, the last time he pooped was last Saturday and that's because we gave him a glycerin suppository-the doctor said to try that instead of miralax and it worked then, but since then we've given it to him 2 more times, and nothing.  

I really don't want to have to take him in to the doctor and have him terrified about whatever they will do, but it's looking like we may have to.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  It's beyond frustrating and the more frustrated I get the worse I feel for him.  I know that it's got to hurt and I'm scared for him.  I just wish this would all be over with.  

We've tried all that we can think of, sticker charts, prizes, outings, cheering (which we still do), enemas, suppositories, laxatives, fiber foods and drinks...I just don't know.

TJ71 · Answer

Well , what can I say? Appart from the fact you are not on your own with this. I am going through almost exactly the same thing with my son who will be 5 in May. Although he's messing himself at school as well. 
He seems to be frightened of doing the poo on the toilet full stop and insists that he needs to do it in his underware. I've faught with this myself ever since potty training age, been to doctors, clinics and recently seen psychotherapists and don't seem to have come any further.
Yes it is incredibley frustrating, I know.
We are waiting for some appointments from the hospital for my boy to receive some "play therapy" which will be 1 hour a week for 6 weeks. I have no idea what it will entail, but anything is worth a go!
If you want to keep in touch with me I will let you know how things work out.

But for now, I'm totally with you on this one. I know exactly what you are feeling and going through. I have no answers but I know we are not on our own. 
Take care.