i married to my husband last Oct 6 2008 and his son always want to sleep with him in our bed while he is in our bed i don't know how to place my self. because they are hugging each other. i fell out of place. i tell my husband that i don't want his son to be in the bed. but he told me told me that im jealous. which is not true all i want to be happen is, his 8 years old son learn to sleep in his bed alone. my question is, am i to possessive?
I don't think your being possessive at all, and believe his son needs to sleep in his own bed. He at the age where he is old enough to able to sleep on his own. There are many opportunities throughout the day for your husband to kiss, cuddle and show affection to his son. At nightime, it is your time to be a couple and to have your space together. Perhaps you need to explain this to him, good luck :)
I'm going through the same thing. I haven't told his Dad though because I feel like it's hard for them to only see eachother half of the week as the boy's at his mom's the other half of the week. I feel like he has separation issues.. I do feel jealous because I agree with the above statement by aid821 that said bedtime should be our time to have our space together.... I guess I don't have any answers but I"m writing this so you know you're not alone... I found your post because I was feeling irritated and just wanted to know I wasn't alone. Sigh.
Thaanks for reading.
I live far from my own parents and so my partner is my only family... I look forward to bedtime cuddling with him. So when I sleep alone it magnifies how alone I feel sometimes.
Hi there..u are not ALONE..that is for sure....I have the same problem as well..but no anymore......I have been dating my bf for a yr now .. and he was living with me..and my two kids...when he got his son 7 yrs old..everyother weekend he was doin the same thing...either bunking with him out in the living room on couch or then later on on an air mattress....... I had had enough as the our boys 2 yrs apart loved hanging together and dad was even stopping them from having a sleepover per say. I had to let my bf know that this couldnt keep happening and that after now it has been a yr..and your son has had enough time now to b on his own in the home....(even at the end of our bed). He understood..but it took a while for it to come to play. I love his boy..but on the same not..if hes old enough to play "M" video games..and play with the big boys..he should b able to sleep without dad rapped around him. I thought maybe i was just being mean..but i noticed honestly im not.....this just isnt right after a yr....... we bought a house with 4 bedrooms to help with the problem... funny enough my bf didnt care if we bought with 3 or 4...but i explained we have to ... as we need to make him feel that he has a place in this family as well as where he lives full time with his mother....... After the big move..he hasnt (or neither) have done it. But honestly it wasnt easy to adress it..but i couldnt do it anymore either.
I dont know how to cope with our step son wanting my partner to sleep in his bed. His dad often says yes when this happens leaving me alone. His actions of leaving me alone make me feel alone. I have always thought of the bed as our private time, and a time for us to be together. I have learned to step back during the day ensuring that they always get their time together, but I just wish he understood how leaving our bed makes me feel abandoned. He says its me being jealous or selfish but really if it was our biological kid I would never think this was okay. I think the time two partners get at the end of the day to hold each other, can make or break a relationship. I feel it is honestly this most important time for two people to connect. I am unsure of what to do or how else to communicate my issues with co sleeping (the boy is 11) so that his dad doesnt think I am trying to come between them. I try to do all I can so his days are fulfilled and so we can connect but when they boy asks to co sleep I feel this undoes any validity his dad and our relationship has. I just need help. I hate to be the frustrated one or the pouty one but I feel I cannot get my point across! Any ideas?!
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