nail biting

[shauntil williams]

im 18 y/o and i have a nail-biting problem i bite my nails while watching tv or a movie and when ever i feel the urge to i bite my nails i read somewhere that iam a nail biter by nature im wondering if that's true and what causes me to bite my nails and the reason i bite my nails

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Shauntil Williams,

Generally, people bite their fingernails as a way of reducing tension. To try to lessen the force of this habit pattern, try wearing cotton mittens or gloves when you are watching TV, and finger some worry beads or a pliable rubber ball as an alternative. In other words, establish a substitute behavior to relax yourself/reduce tension, and devlop a plan (mittens, gloves) that interferes with the behavior you are trying to stop.

[Morgan Holmes]

As a nail biter for about 25 of my 33 years and one who does not see a likelihood of returning to the behaviour:

I believe that there may be some indication of a family tendency, so long as contributing factors are there.  My mother, with whome I did not reside, was a nail-biter.  I was a compulsive one; my nail beds would frequently bleed. My father would make it worse by threatening or actually carrying out physical punishments for nail biting and would tell me things like "No one will ever love you with fingers like that."  Gee.... I wonder what could have possibly made me anxious enough to bite my nails...

My son, who is now eight, is anxiety prone and a little shy by nature.  We try to relieve his stress, but it can creep in anyway -- as it does for all people.  When he was 3 he began to bite his nails.  I was at a loss unti he was 5 -- I did not want him to be stigmatised as I was, but I was well aware that most parental methods did not work. Eventually, I turned it inot a challenge we could share:  i told him tat I would not bite my nails for every day that he would not bite his.  Our fingers were an inspiration for each other and it has now become a non-issue.  We still have stress in our lives, but at least we have removed the added problem of worrying about what people will think of our hands.

Perhaps there is someone with whom you can strike up a similar challenge -- to stop smoking maybe, or to save a dime each day -- though I personally would stay away from mittens and the like because my experience with them was that they were impractical and drew attention to my hands in a punitive manner.