needed advice for my four yr olds behavior problems

My son just turned four in feb, we just moved to a new place in november and he started playing with this other kid im not blaming this other kid but it seems since we moved his attitude has changed rapidly. He lies all the time and thinks its alright to act out and misbehave. We talk to him and explain that its not alright he tells us he's sorry and that he wont do it again and then not even 5 minutes later he's at it again. He covers his ears when we talk to him says he doesnt like us and screams at the top of his lungs. We also just found out we're having a baby but he seems like he's happy about the baby and being a big brother so i don't think that has anything to do with it. We ask him to think about why he is acting up and lying so much and all his answer is is "i dont want to be bad" or "just cause". He called me a ***** the one day and i asked him where he learned such language and he wouldnt answer me and then 2 seconds later he said his friends told him to say it. Im stressing out he's like this everyday. Sometimes he will ask me something and if i say no he goes and asks my husband. It sometimes feels like he wants us to fight. I don't know what to do.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are likely doing too much talking about his behavior and not enough behavior management. He is onyl four - talking will go only so far. If you adhere to the behavior management tactics described in detail in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents you will see considerable improvement (see www.sosprograms.com). And it would be prudent to supervise very closley his play with the neighbor child.