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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
newly 6yr old causing trouble in Kinder
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
newly 6yr old causing trouble in Kinder
by DADMOM, Sep 10, 2009 04:06PM
Hello All,
My 6yr old just started Kinder. Aside from occasional Sunday school, he has not had any formal schooling. What I noticed, is that he is smart enough for entry into kinder (as he more than passed their entrance test), however he does not articulate like most 6yr olds. On occasion, he will say something and it sounds like a hodgepodge of words and no one can understand him but me. He is some how behind in his language, I just can’t figure out why. The first day, he was eager to go to school and it looked promising. The 3rd day, the teacher approached me to say that my son was not listening to her, was climbing over everything, not sitting still, hitting other kids by not controlling his body, and yelling "no" when she said she would tell me. He made only a couple of friends. When he got home, we spoke to him about what the teacher said. It appeared he knew something he did was wrong, however I don’t believe he fully understood what we were telling him about his behavior. As a consequence for his action at school we removed his game time and explained why, again I doubt he understood fully. The behavior continued the next day with only minor improvements, and again we talked to him. Finally, today, the third day in a row, he acted up again. This time however, it was worst. He again poked a kid in the eye and made the child cry (a boy), but this time directly in front of the teacher. He was causing so much of a distraction he was sent to the principal, and separated from the group. When we picked him up I asked him if he was a good boy and his reply was “yes”, but his eyes told a different story. I went to ask the teacher hoping for good news. When the teacher explained what he had done, I was at a loss. All I could say was sorry, and explained to her he was not like this at home. (or was he?) For the last couple of years I have been the one at home raising my boys the most. For the first time in almost 11 years of parenting, I feel like I failed my son.
My 6yr old just started Kinder. Aside from occasional Sunday school, he has not had any formal schooling. What I noticed, is that he is smart enough for entry into kinder (as he more than passed their entrance test), however he does not articulate like most 6yr olds. On occasion, he will say something and it sounds like a hodgepodge of words and no one can understand him but me. He is some how behind in his language, I just can’t figure out why. The first day, he was eager to go to school and it looked promising. The 3rd day, the teacher approached me to say that my son was not listening to her, was climbing over everything, not sitting still, hitting other kids by not controlling his body, and yelling "no" when she said she would tell me. He made only a couple of friends. When he got home, we spoke to him about what the teacher said. It appeared he knew something he did was wrong, however I don’t believe he fully understood what we were telling him about his behavior. As a consequence for his action at school we removed his game time and explained why, again I doubt he understood fully. The behavior continued the next day with only minor improvements, and again we talked to him. Finally, today, the third day in a row, he acted up again. This time however, it was worst. He again poked a kid in the eye and made the child cry (a boy), but this time directly in front of the teacher. He was causing so much of a distraction he was sent to the principal, and separated from the group. When we picked him up I asked him if he was a good boy and his reply was “yes”, but his eyes told a different story. I went to ask the teacher hoping for good news. When the teacher explained what he had done, I was at a loss. All I could say was sorry, and explained to her he was not like this at home. (or was he?) For the last couple of years I have been the one at home raising my boys the most. For the first time in almost 11 years of parenting, I feel like I failed my son.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 11, 2009 01:31PM
, Sep 11, 2009 01:31PM
Your son has not been socialized into school; this is really his first experience. Some pretty stern limit setting is in order, so don't hesitate to do that. Hopefully he will quickly learn about the rules and how important it is to adhere to them. Your approach of withholding privileges is fine. In addition, if there is any acting up he should have a time out (10-15 minutes) at home immediately after school.
