normal sexual behavior for a four and half year old?

Well my son is almost five he is very smart for his age and we have spoke alot about sexual behavior like not to touch and not to let anyone touch you and i have made it very clear that if anyone tries anything like that or makes him feel uncomfortable in anyway that he can always talk to me or daddy or whoever he feels more comfortable with in the situation he is always very open with us and asks questions and tells us everything or so i think we are a very open family. well we just found out that he has a seven year old brother whom his father never knew about my stepson just recently like the last month has been spending the night and visiting his family recently shared with us that he was sexually molested by a slightly older boy and they have never sought conseling for him we were very disappointed in the family but have been looking ourselves for counsel for him and have told him he is welcome to talk to us about it if he feels comfortable which he has in small amounts we did not make our younger son  

[soconfused01]

Aware of the situation because we felt it was inapproprate to tell his brothers personal issues which he is very embarresed by and not exactly age appropriate...our youngest son son has alot of close friends he sees on a regular basis well today on a play date we found my four year old with his friend in the bathroom naked we thought maybe they had been touching each other out of couriousity but after we asked my sons friend told us that my son had put his pee pee in his butt i asked if it was true and he said it was when i asked why he got really embarresed and first he said someone did it to him but wouldnt say who then got really upset when i told his father what happened and said he did it because he saw someone do it on tv he now refuses to talk about it or answer any questions i dont know what to do im afraid his brother has messed with him the way he was messed with i thought i was blessed because he was never courious and always asked open question but now hes embarresed and acting in ways im not sure

[soconfused01]

Is normal sexual behavior for a child or signs of abuse im goin to take him to talk to someone but am i  making a big deal out of nothing is this normal? or do i have a right to be concerned. my friend is not mad at me or my son her son didnt understand either but wanted my son to stay and play with him and was mad thati took my boy home after this insident i have no idea what to do? help please

[AnnieBrooke]

I guess in your shoes, I would try having him talk to someone who is not going to be really upset or react in a way that makes him not want to say anything else, so probably that would be a professional with a lot of experience dealing with kids and sexual issues.  I'd talk to the professional first, so you know what to do as you communicate with the child about the situation, as an overreaction on your part will probably make things worse.  Do you really think the older boy molested the younger boy?  In other words, would there have been times when they were alone together, and do you think the older boy would actually do that?  

[soconfused01]

im not sure they share a bedroom but have bunkbed the first few nights he stayed he wanted my younger son to sleep with him because he said he felt uncomfortable sleeping by himself in a new place im not sure that he would but i was molested by a slightly older cousin who had been molested himself so i feel children who are molested are at higher risk of being an abuser i have never had those feelings but i know the risks and had we been aware of his abuse when he first started staying here we would have been able to talk to him about it or even been more observant of behavior i dont know im really confused we have made arrangements for both boys to see someone now but its 3 weeks til their appts. and i dont know what to do in the mean time but my younger son is highly upset about the situation and no longer wans to talk about it he has pretty shut down and cut off all questions i have stayed calm and not over reacted for him to see anyways but in my heart i am hurting and i want to know why hes acting like this did he see it on tv does he have urges he doesnt understand or know what to do with or how to control was he hurt why wont he talk to me about it these are all questions i need answers to.