not taking responsibility

I'm a single mom and have been given feedback over the past couple of years that my son will not take responsibility for his actions.  It has become maddening and is very much affecting my quality of life at this point.

Today I asked him to not slam the car door so hard and he insisted that he DIDN'T slam the door.  The ensuing ordeal humbles me to my core.. I'm exhausted and feel frustration levels at this point that are truly unhealthy.  

[RockRose]

Where is his dad?

Does slamming the car door really matter?  This boy doesn't have a dad.  Maybe little tiny unimportant things,  like closing a car door too hard can be completely dismissed.   A teenage boy without a dad is totally adrift.  

I have three teenage boys and my experience is,  if you greet them every morning  with a big smile and every afternoon with  a very brief funny story about your day that works best.    Can you believe I bought your dog a Halloween costume today,  or look at this hilarious YouTube  etc.  

Slamming car doors is so COMPLETELY unimportant,  especially for you to get "exhausted and feel frustration levels that are truly unhealthy."

This is nothing.  This of the pain he is feeling missing a father.  THAT's pain.

[Worriedsick2003]

Are you and the father in good speaking terms?

Here is what i have seen from experience. Usually the man you had a child with, his behaviour or his way of life has a large bearing on you and how you look at your child. There is always that fear that my child is going to become just like his father. Please look at this closely and see if the way you look at your child is not influenced by the way you think of his father.

The other thing is you need to build a relationship (a deep one) with your child and see him for who he really is and not see him through the eyes of all those people that have been telling you what your child is going to be. The truth a larger percentage of teenage boys are adrift, have fun, grow a serious sense of humour( you need it) and enjoy each other coz you are all there for each other.