out of control 13 yr old son

[krs12]

I have a 13 yr old son that when I ground him or take some privilidge away because he did something that he shouldn't have he gets angry and has no respect for me or his family. Here is an example. He didn't like getting the computer taken away for two days so he got mad and was hitting the back of the car seat which is 70 yr old grandmother was sitting in, I tried to tell him to stop, but he just wants to go head to head with me. He then started saying I was stupid and didn't know anything and just being really disrepectful, which then escalated. His grandmother tried to talk to him and he called her an old bag, I asked why he behaves that way and he says he just gets mad. Any suggestions as to what to do would greatly be appreciated as I am lost.

[RockRose]

Is he angry about something?  Where's his dad?

I can't imagine - really actually can't imagine - any of my three teenage boys calling either grandmother an old bag.

Kicking the chair,  I can see that.    Or saying I didn't know anything if I took the computer away,  I can see that also although I can't recall them ever actually doing those things - they seem within the normal range of an angry teenager.

What's the deal with him calling his grandma that?  He sounds really angry and hurt about something - has he just gone through a family shake-up?

[krs12]

I did pull over most of this happend on the side of the road. Trying to make him stop is alot easier said than done. I don't think he will dip his finger in apple cider vinegar and that I am sure would be another battle trying to get him to do that. He is only 13 but is a big boy. He just doesn't learn. It is always the same thing disrespect and anger when I all try to do from day one is to instill respect. thank you for your input.

[redneckmom]

Are you enforcing discipline that fits what he did wrong?  If he is abusing computer priveledges, take the computer away.  If he abuses tv, take tv away.  If he is not doing homework, make him get a book signed by teachers and you for a while until it gets under control.  If he is sassy, make him put apple cider vinegar in his mouth(a very small amount, like dipping his finger and putting it on his toungue)  If he slams his door take it off the hinges for a week.  The punishment must fit the crime.  It also has to be persistant and consistent.  If my son was hitting the seat I would have pulled over and made him stop.  He also would never even think about calling either of his grandmothers a name like that.  He knows much better.  Behavior like your son's needs to be corrected right now before he becomes a jerk of an adult.  Being a teenager isn't an easy thing to do.  Be sure he is getting plenty of excersize and eating healthy.  Also make sure he has someone to talk to about things.  He needs to vent and he is going to have a lot of questions about growing up and somebody needs to be there to listen without judging.  Please don't think I am saying you don't do these things they are just my suggestions.  Good luck to you and I am not looking forward to my son's teenage years at all.