out of control 5 year old

I have a 5 year old son who is to me out of control.  He visits his father in mississippi for the summer and when he gets back he dont listen to anything you tell him, he throws fits and gets mad and screams and refuses to listen.  He has a 6 year old sister and i have no problems with her.  Is this just a boy thing and how can i control him.  He dont hit or anything like that he just screams and gets angry.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Debbie,

No, this isn't behavior that would be regarded as normal for either a boy or a girl. The family situation is a difficult one, and poses quite a challenge for a young child. Actually, in the ideal world, such an arrangement wouldn't occur with such a young child - it's too great a disruption.

You would do well to seek the guidance of a child mental health clinician who can help you devise a systematic behavior management plan. The plan will include rewarding/reinforcing the kinds of behavior you seek, and punishing the kinds of behavior that are unreasonable. The key to such strategies is that they be systematic, not hit-or-miss or changeable from one situation to another.