out of control 9 yr. old

[proudmamaof5]

Hi, I am sooo hoping someone can help me!! I have 5 children, 12,9,5,3,and 15 months. My 9 yr. old little girl is out of our control. She hits all the kids, she beaat my 12 year old while she was sleeping with a metal curtain rod, hits them with lamps and other objects that could do damage. She recently started hitting me with objects. I called the police on her and there is nothing that they can do.... she's only 9 they all say.She destroys my house by putting her fist through windows and breaking doors and ripping down blinds and drapes. She does what she wants and when she wants. It is very stressful for me and my husband as well as the other kids. We had her put into a childrens hospital and they sent her home 2 weeks later. She is worse now than before she went there. I have callled everyone there is to call to get help including children and youth but to no avail. They said they only intervene when there is abuse to the child. Can you believe that??? Basically what they are saying is once I abuse her they will help, then not only will they take her but my other 4 and I will probably end up in jail. What kind of system is that!? No wonder parents snap and hurt their children and kill them. Here I am a concerned parent asking actually begging for help before I spin out of control and noone will help. Theres all theese processes you have to go through. Well by that time someone could be really hurt. Everybodys answer is shes only 9 we can't do anything. So basically she can abuse her sisters and brother and it's ok?? There is def. something wrong with that. I need advice on what to do with her. Punishments do NOT work she only gets angrier. Timeouts she will not do she just walks out of my house. Spanking just makes her react worse. She doesn't take care of anyhting so we can't take anything from her besides nothing means anything to her anyway. WHAT????? can we do? My whole family lives in chaos everyday and we never know what she is going to do one minute to the next. It's like we are walking on eggshells around her. PLEASE HELP US!!

[margypops]

Have you asked for some Family couseling for her it is possible she is acting out and you need some input  and find out what is happening , she sounds very upset .and in need of help .What is she like at school does she only behave like this at home and how does she get on with her siblings are they kind to her or is she the only one behaving like this. It seems you need some help to sort this out.

[Pippi524]

I cant offer much help since I am basically in the same position but with a 4 year old daughter, but I do know how you feel.  When a parent does something to their child, everyone is right there to help the child and if the parent seriously hurts or kill the child everyone asks why she didnt get help or ask for help.  But for those parents like us that are begging for help they turn us away.  My daughter as been hitting and throwing things at me for almost two years and no one will do anything and now that I have an 11 month she hurts him too.  But no one thinks its a big enough deal.  It has to come down to the parent hurting the child or for the child to kill the parent before anyone pays attention, but by then its too late.