photos of self

I've been seeing my partner for a couple of months now and have noticed that her 12 year old daughter takes a lot of opportunities to makes herself a point of attention. The main thing that made me start considering it is that the only photo she has in her bedroom is of herself. She also puts photos of her own face as the wallpaper on the computer and if anyone changes it she will just change it back again when she next uses the computer. She's very outgoing and cluey for her age. Her main interest is art and she makes collages which often include her name written in large bright lettering. She always wants to draw someone else in to join her in her activities whether it be doing collages with her or kicking/throwing a ball.
My partner(her mother) when I brought up her daughter's need to keep her own face or name prominent all the time, brushed off the behaviour as just being in love with herself... she also has the dream of being a model when she grows up. I suspect there is more to it than that (and I have a theory) but would like someone more experienced with child behaviour to suggest what it might be.
Other possibly relevant background info is that her mother works a lot so is often not as available as many parents, and also that the child's father didn't have any involvement in her life until about 2 years ago.
At the moment I'm trying to tread lightly in there lives as I can imagine how vital the relationship is between mother and daughter in a single-parent single-child family. If there is some sort of issue there I'd like to know the best way to become more involved with them without exaserbating the problem.
Thanks, Tim

[grohegirl]

Could it be possible that she has become her own best friend? I grew up as an adopted, only child and both of my parents worked all the time. I spent a lot of time alone and I started to solely depend on myself for attention, affection and self-worth. Children at any age need that. Someone once told me that the more a child seems to be overly confident... really on the inside they are not. They are trying to convice themself. She may be craving the attention from you, because her father wasn't so active in her life. Maybe by making her name really big... so that you will see it. I am an artist as well and I needed the recognition... to help me find my place in the world. Cultivate her artistic talent. Enroll her in outside art classes with a camp, YMCA or community center. If she can't get the artistic recognition at home... maybe her inside self-worth can be relieved by an art teacher or someone who will encourage her ability.

[RockRose]

I don't think this is very  unusual behavior.  When you look through facebook and myspace,  it's amazing how self-absorbed young teens are. (And for generations,  always have been,  right now it's with pictures).    With easy access to digital cameras and cell phones and other very quick,  easy methods of taking pictures of themselves,  they seem to accumulate a LOT of them!  It might be more usual for older girls to have pictures of their face smashed right up against 1 or 2 other girl's faces,  there seems to be no amount of those type pictures,  of the same exact girls,  that satisfy their needs for pictures of themselves.

It's a good thing that she's "drawing in" other people to play catch and work on collages!  

I do agree there might be an element here of needing attention,  because it really doesn't sound like she's getting enough and hasn't ever gotten enough.  I'm curious about your theory . ..

[DustyL]

Did you grow up as an only child or if not were you luck enough to have sisters??

=] I was by far not an only child I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. I am the oldest (26) my middle sister is 17 and my youngest is 12 and OMG are they self-obsorbed... really because now a days if your not obessed with yourself... then who is?! Her being an artist, she knows the only thing she can do perfectly is replicate herself and at this point wants herself in the spotlight more then anyone else. Not for anything more then to hear them praise her work... which again the only she does perfectly is replicate or reproduce her "flawless" self. I agree with the others "I do agree there might be an element here of needing attention,  because it really doesn't sound like she's getting enough and hasn't ever gotten enough." But if she's an artist, and has a future of being a model.... ENJOY IT!!!! At least she's looking up to herself and not some rapper out there or "american idol" so to speak!!! Her self-absorbed-ness will pass as she gets older... next you start to find less pics of herself and more of BBBOOOYYYYSSSS (aahhhh)  Good Luck!!!

[April2]

My daughter does the same thing. She's 15. She keeps taking pictures of herself on my digital camara in different poses, and also with her friends. She sounds a little like your daughter. She is very much into art and draws (she's actually pretty good) and says things like she wants to be a model. Like RockRose said, I think it's pretty normal for young teenagers. They really ARE pretty self-absorbed for awhile! Our counselor said that teenagers are "Notorious Narcissists"! I had to laugh at that definition, but it's true! They are completely wrapped up in themselves for awhile! It drives me crazy sometimes, but I keep telling myself that as she matures, I'll see a difference. I did with my son. One time he took a picture of himself (at age 15) with a ginger ale that he was trying to make look like beer! He was trying to look cool, I guess! Anyway, he's now 19 and has finally outgrown a lot of that teenage foolishness, thank goodness. So there is hope!