please help

how can i get my 3 year old to stop beating on the wall and screaming when i put her to bed every night she  does it and it takes me 2 to 3 hours to get her to sleep then in the morning she don't want to get up and get dressed. what do i do?

[RockRose]

Sleep with her?

[cutiemama]

One idea is to begin the bedtime routine 30 minutes or and hour earlier so that if she is fussing and acting out, she'll eventually fall asleep earlier.

You can try using a reward chart to motivate her to go to sleep more quickly and give her a prize every few days that she's gone to bed without a fuss.

The thing that's most important is to find out why she doesn't want to go to sleep and maybe there's a quick and easy solution.  

[laura1977]

don't sleep with her, that will cause another problem.

heres what my husband and I did, and we have a 5 year old little girl and a 2 year old little girl.  Every night about a 30 minutes before we have the same routine as cutimama said.  Bath, read a book, prayers, and kisses and hugs.  My 5 year old actually has told the story of the day we brought her home from the hospital for about a year now every night.  Then I go through kisses and prayers, and my 2 year old always says can leave the door open?  And every night I say the same thing, I will leave it cracked for you.  Gotta say it really does work because they don't get out of bed or talk, and haven't cause any issues since we started this about a year ago with my 2 year old and 3 years ago with our 5 year old.  
At first your child may throw fits, but what you do is one of two things, go in there and place her back into bed WITHOUT TALKING TO HER.  You may have to do this 30 times the first night, but as long as you don't give in, it will work.  It is very important not to have any type of communication with her after you have put her to bed cause she will continue to do it because you are giving her attention which, is what she is after.  Heck even Nanny 911 uses this method.  Its been tried by many of sleepy parents, and 9 times out of 10 it works.  Just don't cave into her because that will mess it up.  
The other thing to consider is if you are married your husband might work better at this because children seem to listen a little better to their daddys.  That was how we did it at first, but now when my husband works nights I don't have problems getting the girls to sleep without him anymore.

[jmb23]

thank you for the advice i will try that my husband can't do it because he don't get off untill 10:30 at night i don't have that problem when he is here because she listens to him so much better than she does me what ever i tell her goes in one ear and out the other and no punishement works with her

[jmb23]

thank you for the advice we have a routine she eats supper then at 7 she gets a bath then about 8 or 8:30 she goes to bed

[jmb23]

i am not going to sleep with her then i will never get her to sleep by herself  and she is a bed hog i will never get any sleep

[laura1977]

Ahhh the joys of motherhood.  It amazes me how my kids listen to my husband just like that, but when it comes to me it takes a little more.  That is why I think this will work for you because if it works for me while my husband is on thirds, I am sure it will work.  My daughters know that they better listen to their daddy because he means business.  Heck all he does is give them a dirty look and they listen.  You are right about the sleeping with her thing, you will end up opening a bigger issue as then you won't get her to go to sleep without you.  
The way I discribed it, it may take a couple of nights of you not getting a lot of sleep, but it will work.  You might want to try to do it when your husband is off work so that he can help, but you really want to be the one to do this because you need her to listen to you about going to bed.  Ol saying "Motherhood isn't for wimps" very very true.
Just remember don't talk to her when you go in there.  Just pick her up and lay her back down, and walk out.  I am sure you will get through this.  2 or 3 sleepless nights, but then think how nice it will be to put her down and her to go to sleep without any troubles.

[Trialanderror]

For my own sanity I "trained" my son to think that both sleep and eating are two delicious things in life and not areas for power struggles. Similar to preparing food, we also prepare bedtime with a few rituals as in comments above. When he was about 3 months old, I did rest beside him during his daytime naps for a few weeks just to show him it is okay to close one`s eyes and relax but I guess that is pointless at age 3. Just smoothen the transitions to bedtime so your daughter doesn`t feel it is a will power issue and gets all fired up with adrenaline. I am sure it will work after a few weeks.