potty train 4 1/2 year old

my son is 4  1/2 years old,and i'm having trouble potty train him,he just doesn't want to go,i try so many things and they don't work,Me and my husband are getting really stress out,because he's going to go to KinderGarten this year,and without him potty train,he can't go,So please help us,We even try sitting in the toilet reading him books.doesn't help,the thing is he goes pee by himself,but # 2 when we put him in the toilet he's just sitting there telling us i can't,but if we put his underwear and we turn around he'll poo on his under wear,we're not even using Pull ups anymore,but he's still poos in his under wear.So if some one pls can help us what todo i preciate it.

[sgf1]

I don't know if this will help but i have a similar problem with my 4.4 year old boy.  He will pee but not poop in the toilet.  I use diapers when he needs to go  poop and he knows when he needs to go and be brings me a diaper.  He never has any accidents.  I am also not sure what to do either.    He wears only underwears and no other problems.  

[sgf1]

I finally got my son trained.  Are you still having problems?  Let me know and maybe i can share what i did with my son.  It worked on my son.

[Gypsyluv]

I would like to know what you did. I am having the exactly problem with my son.  He is a bit over 3 and 1/2 years old. I feel like such a failure as a mother as everyone I know throws it in my face that their children were all so easy to train and completely accident free by 2 or so.  My son is smart so very smart but I am starting to worry.  I want him to be able to go to preschool this fall but if he's not trained he can't go.  I've tried so many things, just about everything and anything others have suggested being so desprate I can't not try it. I've even spanked him wich I hated doing and don't plan on doing again.  That was far too tramatic for us both. I've tried positive reniforcement and negative... taking his toys away and everything but he doesn't seem to care.  He'll pee in the toilet just fine... but will not come tell me or go to the toilet on his own either when he needs to poop.  
*help*

[mumharris]

I have a 4 year old son. He is toilet trained, but is going back wards at daycare.  We have got him dry at night by taking him to the toilet before he go's to bed and I take him when I go to bed around 10.30 - 11pm, helps him make it to the morning.  He stopped wetting his pants and out of pull ups about one year ago, and in the last 4 months he just wets them a daycare.

He does go to the toilet at daycare, so I know that he is ok going a daycare.  He could have a dry day and then the next wet his pants two to four time's in that day.

I have tried all to stop him and daycare has all so.  Where do we go from here.  Will he just stop.  
He does not care that he wets his pants and the his friend make fun of him, but I do care.  HELP

[mumharris]

Just to let you know.  We have fixed my son wetting his pants at daycare.  Daycare have got a timer that goes off every 45 mins and have told him when it goes off he has to go toilet.  He thinks it's great, and all his friends tell him that his timer has gone off.  It has been two weeks know, and I am so happy that this is working.