potty training

I have a near 4 year old son that we are having a nightmare potty training. I took him to his doctor and asked him for advice. He said to totally take the diapers away. Pull up do not work because he knows that he can go in them just like a diaper. So we have been doing that for almost 2 weeks. He refuses to go to the toilet. The doctor told me that if he makes a mistake to make him help clean it up. And I do but the problem is that he does not mind. We have spanked, sat in the corner(which is very hard because he refuses to sit there), and we have tried rewards if he does go, we have tried to make it fun such as putting a cheerio in the toilet and telling him to hit it. Nothing works! And now he is urinating on the carpet. Now what do I do? He went yesterday and put his pants, socks and underwear in the toilet and closed the lid. He is a very active bright child but I do not understand what to do! PLEASE HELP! Danielle

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

When children are clearly 'ready' to be trained, taking away diapers is a productive tactic. However, in your son's case it appears that he is not yet ready. From a parenting perspective, the best approach is to be patient and continue to reward him for any occasions on which he uses the potty. Most of the time these situations can be managed successfully withour professional help, but I'd guide you in the direction of having a consultation with a pediatric mental health professional who can evaluate your son and make some recommendation. The purpose of doing this is to rule out that emotional factors are contributing to the problem.