problems with 10 year old daughter

I have a 10 year old daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD at 3 yrs old.  She has never been on medication...only behavior modification.  Early years were not so bad...it was just getting in trouble at school for talking too much or being too loud or not settling down.  Now, however she has started to get out of control at home.    One minute we will be studying and she will be doing fine.  The next she will just decide she has had enough and then will just get up and leave the table.  She will then run out of the room and then I go and try to find her and she is running in and out of hiding places.  I keep saying we need to get back on your work and she says, "No, I'm not doing it."   Once I do "catch" her and bring her back to the room, the moment I sit down she will either throw something at me or run back out of the room again.  This could go on for hours.  I have tried the reward system, also tried consequences like getting favorite items taken away.  Nothing seems to work.  Basically if she is in the mood to work she will and if not she just refuses and it is an all night struggle for control.  If she gets mad she will act out with the "I hate you", "you suck", "shut up", "you're stupid" or will destroy things in my house.  I'm afraid if I leave her alone and do nothing she will fail in school.  She is normally very bright and makes good grades but only because she is pushed to do so.  Left to her own devices she would do nothing but play all day.  She seems to have no drive and very much of an I don't care..so what...attitude.  She shows remorse only when she wants something from you.  Then she quickly wants you to get over it and act like nothing happened..and if you try to talk to her about it then she gets upset again and tells you to "shut up".    Not really sure what to try now.  Any one else going through this and if so what has worked for you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You should not be attempting to handle this as a parenting issue alone. While ADHD may be a component of what you are experiencing, it alone does not explain the behavior. Your situation invites professional intervention, both to re-evaluate the ADHD question (she was so young when the diagnosis was issued that the diagnosos is open to question) and to helpyou with behavior management.

[melwick]

oh my good listening to your story is the exact thing we have been going through with my 10 year old son.  Only difference is he is not doing well at school the teacher called last week and told us that if something is not done he will fail this year and have to repeat it.  Both me and my husband were at our wits end at home.  Night time routine and getting homework done is impossible.  I am a person that has always been against medication but we decided to give it a try and wow it has made a huge difference.  He has only been on the pills for four days but the first day the teacher noticed a deifference and he came home and sat at the table for two hours and did his homework.  maybe go and talk with your doctor.  Good Luck

[dee110]

What is the name of the medication?