Yes, specialmom, thanks as always. I agree with you. I think a lot of it stems from the sensory issues. My son is not always flexible, though he is getting better and his self control is getting better too. I think she wants some guidance too.
On MOndays, the kids tend to play outside in her backyard.
ON Wednesdays, they usually go to a park with some other kids.
On Fridays, they usually go swimming.
The fridays are the best for him. Of course, swimming is really tiring for most anyone. He is with me on Tues/Thursdays and we usually do some activity. This AM before school we went to a park that is on the way to school.
He si also getting involved with another child at school who has anger issues and is being mroe defiant at school (the other boy is). My son really likes this boy, so at times he has been immitating him, playing dinosaurs and going up to other people growling, etc. My son never really liked dinosaurs before he met this boy. Also, sometimes not listening when with this boy. The problems are occuring mainly at recess time. The teacher says they have more probs then due to it being unstructured.
The teacher told me at school that this other boy is the leader, I just wish my son would not follow so much.
Hm. Well, I'd think that aspergers would have been mentioned to you before this point and by professionals that have evaluated and observed your son to diagnose him. So, honestly, I would not take the word of a babysitter that is pulled in different directions by 2 other kids. Sensory integration alone can make social interaction difficult. My son had great difficulty with his peer relationships. He tended to be inflexible and had to have things his way. He tried to control EXACTLY to an obsessive T how a pretend game would go. He would get upset if the other child seemed better at something than him and because he can't self soothe very well, it would turn into an issue.
What helps with social interaction with other kids is a lot of guidance and supervision. The babysitting mom should have a game plan as to what the boys will be doing. Kind of like a schedule. And when something isn't going well, switch gears------------ "okay, snack time." Or, "okay, craft time." Whatever. She may be a tired lady and just wants them to play quietly by themselves without intervening at all which isn't too realistic for a sensory kid. Check with your guidance counselor as to what the school offers such as "friends groups". Practice helps-------- so the more interaction, the better. Also, definately speak to your ot. We've had improve social skills as a goal for a year now. My son does much much better. Our OT has really helped. Sometimes they'll even run an OT session with another child to practice the skills. So talk to them about your concerns.
Aspergers kids have difficulty with pretend play, do not like to make eye contact, often will only focus in on preferred topics of interest and will talk your ear off about that (they call it the "Little Professor" way of speaking). You've never described your child this way before. I just think his sensory is causing social issues as it is known to do. good luck