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question about play for a 6 year old.
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question about play for a 6 year old.

I need to review my child development.  I have my son with a babysitter who has a 5 year old son.  She says sometimes my son does not always play well with her son.  My son is 6, he has sensory issues.  She says he is nice to the younger child she has there at the home who is like 1.5 years old.   She says he can only seem to focus on playing with one child at a time.  Is this pretty normal for a 6 year old or should I be concerned. she also mentionedhe might have aspergers. He has sensory processing disorder and is in OT for that. He has improved, he started therapy the end of May this year.

At school, he is good friends with one boy and they are very close.  The boy (friend) has some anger issues and having more of an issue with the anger issues.  The two boys are having difficulty listeing during recess mainly and I think it's worse then due to it being unstructured. The teacher said he has the most issues with kids during recess.  

I'm just confused.  I looked at hte asperger's symptoms and I don't thinkt hat fits him. They said they are often advanced in their speaking and my son was speech delayed.  He is also very affectionate.

Thanks as always!!!
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Hm.  Well, I'd think that aspergers would have been mentioned to you before this point and by professionals that have evaluated and observed your son to diagnose him.  So, honestly, I would not take the word of a babysitter that is pulled in different directions by 2 other kids.  Sensory integration alone can make social interaction difficult.  My son had great difficulty with his peer relationships.  He tended to be inflexible and had to have things his way.  He tried to control EXACTLY to an obsessive T how a pretend game would go.  He would get upset if the other child seemed better at something than him and because he can't self soothe very well, it would turn into an issue.  
What helps with social interaction with other kids is a lot of guidance and supervision.  The babysitting mom should have a game plan as to what the boys will be doing.  Kind of like a schedule.  And when something isn't going well, switch gears------------ "okay, snack time."  Or,  "okay, craft time."  Whatever.  She may be a tired lady and just wants them to play quietly by themselves without intervening at all which isn't too realistic for a sensory kid.  Check with your guidance counselor as to what the school offers such as "friends groups".  Practice helps-------- so the more interaction, the better.  Also, definately speak to your ot.  We've had improve social skills as a goal for a year now.  My son does much much better.  Our OT has really helped.  Sometimes they'll even run an OT session with another child to practice the skills.  So talk to them about your concerns.

Aspergers kids have difficulty with pretend play, do not like to make eye contact, often will only focus in on preferred topics of interest and will talk your ear off about that (they call it the "Little Professor" way of speaking).  You've never described your child this way before.  I just think his sensory is causing social issues as it is known to do.  good luck
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Yes, specialmom, thanks as always. I agree with you. I think a lot of it stems from the sensory issues. My son is not always flexible, though he is getting better and his self control is getting better too.  I think she wants some guidance too.  
On MOndays, the kids tend to play outside in her backyard.

ON Wednesdays, they usually go to a park  with some other kids.

On Fridays, they usually go swimming.

The fridays are the best for him.   Of course, swimming is really tiring for most anyone.  He is with me on Tues/Thursdays and we usually do some activity.  This AM before school we went to a park that is on the way to school.

He si also getting involved with another child at school who has anger issues and is being mroe defiant at school (the other boy is).  My son really likes this boy, so at times he has been immitating him, playing dinosaurs and going up to other people growling, etc.  My son never really liked dinosaurs before he met this boy.  Also,  sometimes not listening when with this boy.  The problems are occuring mainly at recess time.  The teacher says they have more probs then due to it being unstructured.

The teacher told me at school that this other boy is the leader, I just wish my son would not follow so much.
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