revenge bathroom problems

[crakedpot]

My children are adopted they are 4 and 5.  They have contol issues with revenge mixed in.  The one who is 5 was peeing at night and finally I came up with "if you pee your pants again I will take away your birthday"  that has worked so far but his birthday is in two weeks so I am a little afraid that he will start again.  The 4 year old will poop in the bathtub if he is mad at me.  How do I fix these problems.

[margypops]

you said that you think its "revenge' what would that be for.. what reason would they have, I am trying to get the dynamics here, especially if they are great in school seems there is some child /parent interaction issue going on, possibly even from their past life ,Great they are doing so many sporty things children fare so well as they get older when they are involved with outside activities and using up energy in a positive way..

[crakedpot]

They do great at school, they are well behaved, fun, loving, get along well with others and have great support from all family members.  I had to potty train them when I got them.  I started with the older one who was three at the time.  This seems to be the only problem we have left, knock on wood.  They are involved with soccer, baseball and soon to be cub scouts.  I have tried praising, stickers, positive motivation, negative motivation and other things in between.  Not sure why they keep doing it. Any other ideals?  

[margypops]

Well it may be a better idea rather than punishing that you find out the reason it has started I am assuming the children were dry, they may have been through some trauma in their lives and wtting can sometimes be connected to this. How is school going do they do well there get on with Teachers / other students? Focus on their positive side , and not the negative ..praise them when you see them doing something right.Plenty of sports and outside acdtivities, get Dad involved with fun and games, board games are a lot of fun and all the family can join in, reading stories to them.