Child Behavior Community
scary and dangerous
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

scary and dangerous

has anyone else had this problem?  My almost 4 yr old grandson is very willful, demanding, hyper, and angry.  He pretty much does what he wants. My daughter and son-in-law use time-out, spanking, and loss of fun things. nothing has worked, he goes behind their back and does it anyway. He also sneaks out of the house whenever he wants, usually in the morning when they are preoccupied either with getting ready for work or their 6mo old daughter. I baby sit her during the week, but he has to go to another sitter because I can't handle him. I raised 3 children of my own, 2 girls and 1 boy and have never dreamed of the problems they have with this child.  I watched him for a couple hours last week while my daughter ran errands and the child peed in the pantry while my back was turned.  He says the monster does all the bad stuff when you ask him why he does them. They have resorted to putting locks on the inside of all the doors that lead outside. Nobody would believe how quiet he is when he escapes. does anyone have advise PLEASE!
Related Discussions
6 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
13167_tn?1327197724
How he is at the other baby sitter's house?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
all I know is that he only occasionally acts ugly at her house, but she has 4 boys of her own ranging from 3 to 10. She told my daughter one day that my true grandson finally surfaced. I didn't get details.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Did he behave like this before the baby came along? You say he escapes when his folks are busy with the baby; is it possible that is the trigger?

I have a four year old son, and an 18 month old. My four year old is acting out now, and it seems to be attention to his baby brother that does it. He reacted similarly when the baby was first born.

While my four year old is fully potty-trained, I have also caught him peeing on the floor. When I asked, he told me it's because his brother goes potty wherever he wants, so he does too!

They did the right thing in putting locks on the door he cannot open; that is what experts reccomend, as i think this is a common problem.

My OBGYN told me someone came to the door with her three year old, whom she had found wandering down the street...they had no idea she was gone!!

I also think blaming "monsters" or someone else when they do something else is also common....remember the old Family Circle cartoon, where there was a ghost named "Not Me" who did all the bad things? :)

My four year old sometomes blames his brother, or the dog even, when he does something wrong. So we had a talk about fibbing, and now that he knows the difference between a truth and a lie, he gets time out for it.

Again, while I don't know the whole situation, it sounds like he may be reacting to the new baby, which is SO common. There are lots of books out there dealing with this.

Good luck!

jennifer

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Also wanted to add...if he escapes in the morning,  maybe his parents could devise a way that one of them is always paying attention to him.

Besides keep him from going outside, it also gives him special attention while the other parent is busy with the baby.

I am on my own in the morning, and I put both boys in my bedroom and shut the door. If he is an escape artist, they may have to put locks on the INSIDE doors, too, so he can't escape while they are busy elsewhere.

Also...I have tried very hard to build in mommy and me time with my four year old. He nows that once his brother goes to bed, he has mommy's undivided attention.



Jennifer
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Lol, well I'm glad someone else is going through it. This was my mother that posted this, and thankfully we fixed the problem I think. We did turn around our bottom door knobs on all the exiting doors and lock ourselves in with a key and also I've been a lot calmer lately. We are both pretty high strung and have pretty bad tempers. I noticed after a while that he would scream at me and I would back out of temper. I was showing him thats how to communicate. Now, I have mellowed I guess, because I don't even feel the need to scream anymore and we have about one argument a day now and all the rest has stopped. The OBGYNs child was mine! I didn't know he was gone a few times until I got a call from one of the neighbors. He amazingly asks me to go places now, doesn't "cook" in the mornings and generally leaves everything alone. I don't even have to lock the pantry door anymore.
As far as his sister goes, he has never acted out towards her or because of her surprisingly. I was terrified that was going to happen, but he never did. He told me one time we needed to go back to the hospital so the doctor could put her back in my tummy. And that was when she cried for a solid week! He is VERY protective of her. His friends can only look...not touch or play with...just a glance and even then he tells them she is my sister. He helps me a lot with her also. I believe I was being too strict and not choosing my battles wisely. I don't know what happened with the peeing in the pantry lol, he has never done that to me, just my mom.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
He just turned 4 also, and tells me that 4 year olds are big boys and don't do bad things. So we kind of build that up a little. When he does something big we tell him...."wow, your a big 4 year old!" He laughs and smiles.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Child Behavior Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Children's Health Answerers
Avatar_m_tn
Blank
Sandman2
San Pedro, CA
134578_tn?1404951303
Blank
AnnieBrooke
OR
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
4851940_tn?1385441629
Blank
jemma116
United Kingdom
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA