separation anxiety

Please help I need clear concise info on leaving my son 3 at preschool. I feel it is not right to leave him crying shall i wait untill next yr ? attempt again in 6 mos.. I want to listen to him and me not anybody else. Yet am open to the best advice  someone can give on this matter. i've left him once and he did cry not for long yet i just dont feel thats right shouldnt he feel ok in order for me to leave him. Sad about this. My 1st son i was able to leave however he started later and i only left him when he really wanted to be there for circle and story not so much for free play time now he seems socially immature and i may have made a big mistake yet i cant leave my son if he is not ok.
Thanks

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

He will adapt, but you've got to give it time. If you think he should not cry at all your expectation is unrealistic. It's not hurting him if he cries.

[fishandthings]

Thank you for your response. However I don't want him to adapt in that way are you familiar with the whole cry out thing and now how they say it may have shut a part of the child down. I believe that I know the preschool teacher doesnt think so however there is always all this new research coming out you know, its just how I feel. I didnt cry when my mom left me she says I had lots of kid friends though. I am still not sure and I pulled him out and am thinking next year. He says never. I hope next year will be better. The teacher is not so reassuring about that. I know some moms just decide to homeschool if they can't let go or whatever I don't think thats me I know I couldn't have with my 1st son. I just want him to want to be there without me.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This is more your problem than your child's. My advice to you is the same. But as long as you think that his crying is a problem you are going to resist guidance. I hope you can change your perspective. It would be a mistake to remove him from the program.

[fishandthings]

what about a smaller daycare wit his girl cousin whos 4 he "says " he would stay there w/out me.. it is more expensive and a little bit more of a hassle i just want im 2 feel secure & happy when i leave not sweaty palms torn out of my arms cryin

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Again, I would stay the course.

[fishandthings]

really ok now im thinkin i am kind of prepaid for this mth its not too late! how do i do it tho leavin im like that is not really an option ! what do i do? preschool is on tues - r u sure i shouldnt just give it time like next yr ? and hope it will be better and all the built upness round it forgotten ? pls respond quickly  - not better to try the other one wit his cousin so he may be more comfortable even if it is more of a hassle for me?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I've offered you all the guidance I can. Now you'll have to decide on your course of action.