seperation anxiety-fear of setback causing parent to stay in unhappy marriage

[ape22]

A very close friend of mine is in a very unhappy marriage and has been for several years.  he recently had an affair but then went thru counseling with his wife and is still wanting to leave the marriage. due to a fear of causing his teenage daughter a setback and what he would say is a major "flipout" to where he's conserned she would be set back in school and he's afraid she would take a long time to recover and get past this he's afraid she wont get over it so he wont leave. She has had several periods in her earlier years, with the last major one happening approximately 3 years ago, where she went through periods of crying and screaming and fighting before school and having problems with grades in school.  she has been through counseling through the years and restarted again the beginning of this year. there were issues before school where she literally had to be forced into going to school and fighting went on almost every morning. counseling wasnt helping. she was then started on medication. summer came and things were good.
now back in school she is doing well, no fighting in the morning and shes doing homework and doing well in school.
My friend states he wants to leave but is having severe anxiety about telling her because he is afraid he will set her back and is worried about how long it will take her to recover? Is it really fair for him to stay in an unhappy marriage for another year until she is out of school and will it change even then?  Is there a way for him to leave this situation and keep her from a major flip out or to at least help the situation go a little smoother? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as he is very miserable but feels like he has to do what he can for his daughter.

[babygirl6152]

he wants to leave but he is having severe anxiety- poor kid-

Oh wait- you said this is a MAN- ???
REAL MEN COPE/SUCK IT UP.
No one can make him unhappy- he DECIDES to be happy wherever he is and whomever he is with.

a friend would suggest to a real MAN to act right and recommit himself to his ENTIRE family- and if you are friend- I don't know why you are not telling him that-

If he decides to leave though, being so self- centered, his wife is only losing a man that was not much of an asset anyways-

[margypops]

From reading your post I would think that he really would like his marriage to work perhaps he is using staying 'because  of his daughter'  as an excuse, he is right it would not help his daughter for her parents to split up, a marriage is always worth saving, as a friend maybe you could advise them to seek more help and simply make an effort to adjust to each others needs.If  he really needs to leave he should wait till his daughter is an adult, 18 its okay if he is miserable he is the one who  wants out, his daughter does not deserve to be miserable ,she didnt do anything.and if given a choice would want her Dad to stay.

[RockRose]

Yes,  this is what parents do.  It's more than "fair",  it's the right thing to do for this girl.  

Even if they wait for a year or so it will still be extremely painful for her and might send her into a depression or major anxiety.

Why would you think it's not "fair" for him to decide to stay for the sake of his daughter?  Not "fair" to who?