sexual exploration

[grandmother43]

I know it is common for young children (ages 6 through 10)  to engage in sexual play.  In my parenting days it was called "playing doctor" and usually involved looking and maybe touching "private parts".   However, there was an incident within the family where a couple of young boys engaged in more advanced behavior.  One had the penis of the other in his mouth.   At first this raised immediate concern that perhaps one or both of them have been bothered by someone.  However, both are well adjusted, smart, happy go lucky 9 year olds who are actually quite innocent.  Neither boy has been subjected to improper media as far as the parents are aware.    I began to wonder if this might be normal sexual exploration in todays world.  Since oral sex has become so prevalent among middle school age children, it made me think that perhaps this information has become common enough to trickle down to younger children.  Is this naive thinking?   Should their parents be more concerned or can it be handled as it always has, through healthy communication and sex education appropriate for their age level?      

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It would be prudent to regard this behavior as outside the norm. The so-called playing doctor sort of behavior is really not typical of children of nine or ten, but the behavior of the boys went beyond that nonetheless. The approach you mentioned is certainly sensible, but in addition the parents should do some investigation with the boys of how they happended to derive the knowledge that resulted in the behavior.