should a 10 year old boy sleep with his parents

The boys parents are seperated for 2.5 years now.  He is very well develop and intelligent boy. He is more grown-up than most kids his age.
He sees both parents basically daily and sleeps at each parents house 50% of the time.


The father is single and when the boy stays with him the father encourages him to sleep alone.  He will lay in bed with him till he falls asleep etc. When the boy does spend the night in his own bed he is very proud of himself in the a.m.  In addition, the boy has alot of sleep overs and when he does NOT sleep in his room he makes excuses to the sleepover kids as to why he is not (ie ''I feel sick'' etc)  The father feels these are indications that although the boy has trouble sleeping by himself (scared etc.) he does want to learn to sleep by himself.

The mother has a boyfriend but does not have the boyfriend interact  with the child (she keeps this part of her life seperate)  The child sleeps with his mother and the mother does not see an issue with it nor does she want to change it.

Please advise

'' the father''

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children this age should sleep in their own bed and fall asleep by themselves. Thus, at your house you should stop lying with him until he falls asleep. At his mother's house he should be in his own bed. Both of you should make adjustments in how you are managing this. In addition, 50/50 custody for a child of this age is generally not such a good idea. You may want to revisit this issue.

[beachmom00]

okay so my boyfriend just moved in with me and spends more time sleeping with his 9 year old son then he does me. When he moved in he called the boys room "their"room instead of his room. I understand you want to make sure he is comfy in the new arrangements but its driving me crazy. I have a 10 year old son and when I divorced when he was 7 he did sleep with me for alittle over a year. When he got himself a queen size bed he has not been back and I go in we do our prayers I give him kisses and he good. My boyfriend lays down with him, which I am fine with-that is their time but the problem lies when he falls asleep or has even layed him down came back out and then gone to bed with me only to get up and go crawl in bed with his son(which is in a twin bed) after I am asleep. When his son is not their he sleep with me all night. I feel that we should make it a special room for just him-he is gets to pick out bedding and posters and all that stuff to make it his. The boys mom just moved in with her boyfriend too so I understand that he has alot going on but am worried its not the son as much as the dad-any advise?