shy or anxiety 3yr old?

my 3yr old daughter is very outgoing at home but doesnt talk at nursery or around people or children she doesnt know, her teachers said she is very quiet at nursery bt its nothing to worry about i just want to know wot i should and should not be doin as i dont want to make her feel any worse

[jdtm]

The difference between being shy and suffering from anxiety is "function".  Is your daughter able to eat at nursery school?  Is she able to play with the other children?  Is she able to use the washroom when required?  Is she able to ask for help if she requires it?  Can she learn new things at school?  Shy children can do these things; children with anxiety may not be able.

The "not speaking" is a sign of extreme shyness or selective mutism (a form of social anxiety).  However, the length of time she is quiet is crucial - if more than six months, then your daughter could be suffering from anxiety.  If she is whispering just a little bit at school and interacting with the other children a small amount, this is a good thing.  Have the teacher observe her closely to see if this is happening.  

The best thing you can do in the next few months is be patient, give her lots of opportunites to interact with others (malls, grocery shopping, playgrounds, family visits, etc.) and, at this point, not draw attention to her "not speaking".  Hopefully, your daughter is just "shy"; if not, let us know as anxiety is very common and highly treatable.  Hope this helps ....