sleep fears of five year old

I have three children.We live in a 4 bedroom home, therefore each child has their own room.  Last summer(99) our two daughters 4 and 10 share a bedroom. After the summer, the young one requested when we returned home in Sept. that she sleep on a sleeping bag in her big sisters room- she was fearful being alone. We allowed this, and this ended up being impossible to break. After a few months, her older sister became tired of a preschooler on her rug each night.We tried all ideas (Ferbers, too) all year to no avail. Well, we went away again for the summer and again they shared a room. Everyone slept great every night. Our now 5 year old is happy as long as she is with someone and our now 11 year old is fine with the "summer arrangement" But, we are home now. We want to get the 5 year old back in her room.  She is afraid to be alone, if we stay with her she is fine, but I know that is not the answer. IF she is with a sib or in her parents room, she is fine. Neither of her sibs are interested in sharing a room with her and we'd like our room back too,and we are done having kids! (although I would love to have a baby to keep her company...just kidding).  I am an early childhood educator and I after one year, I am out of ideas.  help!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Kate,

I get the sense that you are aware the only way to resolve this matter will be to bite the bullet, so to speak, get ready for some discomfort, and insist that your daughter sleep in her own bedroom. In that sense, the Ferber method makes perfect sense - sometimes you simply cannot finesse these things.

Having said that, it doesn't mean you have to do this in a harsh or punitive fashion. Try to do it in a supportive, encouraging, rewarding fashion. Lay out the expectations clearly, try to make the bedroom environment as inviting/confortable as possible, and set up a reward system to recognize yur daughter's accomplishment. By all means, don't enable her to sleep elsewhere - this will just exacerbate the problem and reinforce her resistance.