sleeping issue with a 12 year old

I have a 12 year old and a 1 year old. Recently our 12 year old started crying at bedtime saying she is too scared to sleep in her room. She has 2 nightlights, and her fan running when she slept. But now it has turned into her dad telling her she can sleep in the babys room. I dont approve of this at all! She has no problem sleeping at her real mothers home alone or anbody elses for that matter. I feel like she is trying to get attention. Her father and I have been having issues about this. I feel that it is not right for the following reasons: 1. She will disrupt my 1 year olds sleep habits. 2. She says she doesnt know what she is scared of. 3. I dont want my 1 year old to think she will need someone to sleep with her now. I really would love any advice you may have for me. Her mother is taking her to see  therapist also.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You and your husband need to be on the same page about this. If you need some counseling to achieve that, then do so. You are likely incorrect about the behavior being a bid for attention. For some reason many parents think of this as a reason to explain behavior. But, to be frank, it is usually not the case. Children who display anxiety at night often do not have a specific reason for their fear, so that is not unusual. Perhaps if you set a limit requiring her to sleep in her own room, and establish a reward system to enhance her motivation to do this, she will accomplish the goal. But again, most important is that you and her father stop disagreeing about this.