sleeping problem

[bkb99]

I have a  14 yearold stepson who has been having a problem sleeping.  He says he cannot go to sleep but he does not know why.  We thought this was just a problem at our house and then his mother called and asked if he was having problems sleeping when staying with us.  She also said he had been sleeping in her room for several weeks because of this problem.  It had seemed to get better for awhile but now he is waking us up at night and not wanting to sleep by himself.  He says he's not afraid of anything but we cannot understand what the problem is.  We have also don't feel that a boy of his age should be sleeping with his mom.  We think this is wrong and his mom should insist on him sleeping in his own room. Is this wrong for him to be doing and what can we do to help get him back to sleeping on his own?

[curlyq77]

At least I am not alone....My 14 year old daughter who is very mature for her age was fine until I got divorced and we moved ( same school district)
She doesn't know herself why she NEEDS to sleep with me...( in the past 4 years she recently only slept at a neighbors house 2 times. It is hard for her to sleep at a friends as she feels she needs me. It is not that I mind as I am single but I am very concerned about this as it makes her to dependant on me as I see it. In addition,  she is missing out on many fun sleep overs with friends etc.  
She has been to therapy and of course I was told that is is NOT good.
She went for 6 months and did not want to go...it took her dad 4 months to attend a meeting even though I planned it with him and in the end the therapist told my daughter that her father would never change...that has proved to be  acurate as he has not changed. My daughter rarely sees her dad,  that is her choice. She loves him but it continually lets her down so therefore is hurts her less NOT to see him. He lives only 10 minutes from us.
Other then that she seems to be well adjusted to the new situation and just started high school. It has been 4 years since we got divorced.
How can I help her??? I worry that if  making a big deal about it is more stressful and damaging in the end. I stop arguing with her about it because it was very stressful to her and made her feel like there was something wrong with her. We do talk about it. PLEASE HELP !

[Angelinthemorning]

14 years old is definately too old to not be sleeping in his own room.  You need to take him to his doctor.  If he's having trouble falling asleep it could be a sleep problem.  There is something wrong at 14 if he is coming in to your room in the middle of the night b/c he can't sleep.  It may also be something he doesn't wish to discuss with you or his parents.  When he goes to the doctor, I would suggest giving him some time alone with the doctor.  That way if there's something he is embarassed about, it's easier to talk about without parents in the room.