sleepless night's

[doodley]

my daughter is 7 month's old and has not slepted thought since she was 4month's old for some reason she wake's up every 20min's for her pacifer once i give it to her she goes back to sleep, then it fall's out and wee repeat this all night long , wee have tryed letting her cry and not getting up and giving it to her she get's into a state and wee end up having to give her a bottle to settle her because she will not take the pacifier until she get's one.so we end up giving her the pacifer everytime it fall's out of her so we won't have to give her a bottle in the middle of the night.i know she is not hungry i think she just need's the pacifier to get back to sleep even though she is not fully awake when she cry's for it unless we ignore her she is usally in bed by 8pm and she has a bottle just before she goes and she start's this around 10pm everynight all night long even when she get's a bottle in middle of the night she still continues to do this.It is not has if she sleep's all day either she get's up at around 6.30am for her bottle the goes back to bed for one half hour's then she only has cat nap's off 20 min's through the day.
              please help sleep deprived doodley.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You have created a situation wherein your daughter depends om the pacifier. She does not need the pacifier, and the way to stop the pattern is by persisting in waiting it out. You are going to have to bite the bullet, and thus far you haven't been able to see it through. It is difficult, because you'll have to endure your daughter's crying, and this is painful to a parent. But you are not hurting her by doing this. In the long run you are helping her. Unwittingly, you have created the problem, and you can solve it. But you'll have to be consistent - there's no easy way to solve this.

[doodley]

Do you mean i should take the pacifier away all together? Even though she only does this at night time.

[Soconcerned]

I had a similar situation with my daughter when she was 6 months old.  She would wake up and expect me or her dad to be right the to put her back to sleep.  Finally one night we just let her cry.  It was so hard but worth it later.  She cried for about an hour straight and then fell asleep.  She did it for a few nights but less each time.  Kind of like she was testing us to see if we would come.  Finally she just slept on her own. and when she woke up she would not cry for us, she would either play by herself for a minute or just go back to sleep.  As for the pacifier... I think most doctors say not to let your kids use them but we did.  Our daughter learned to sleep without it even though she would use it during the day.

[doodley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It's probably best to eliminate it altogether, but it is possible to permit it during the day and not at night. In your child's case, continuing it during the day will make it more difficult for her to do without it during the night, and it makes more sense not to complicate the situation unnecessarily.

[chaisemom]

I do not agree totally with eliminating it altogether. As I'm sure you know, babies use sucking to calm them and although it may seem like she doesn't need it, she uses it for security more than anything. Taking it away at this stage may not be the best for her, since she is still so young. Do you rock her to sleep or let her fall asleep on her own? If you let her fall asleep on her own, she is already beginning to soothe herself. Do not rush in to her everytime she cries and maybe put 2 or 3 paci's in her crib, then maybe, if she is able to, she can find one herself and put it in her mouth and again, another way she can learn to soothe herself.
Being through a similar situation myself, I do not think it is best to take it away but I don't think you should rush to her side every time she cries. If you do something once for them, they remember it and expect it every time. It may take up to 3 weeks to break the habit.
It's not like you purposely created the situation, sometimes we do what we have to do to keep our sanity or get a few extra minutes of sleep and it ends up nipping us in the butt. Everyone has an opinion about pacifiers but until you've been up all night with a crying infant and finally give in w/ a pacifier and that seems to be all it takes, I don't think you totally understand.
My ds is 3 and if he is grouchy and won't go to sleep I give him a glass of milk in a sippy and it calms him right down. He will be out within 10 min. Still to this day the suckling soothes him. I took away his paci on his 2nd b-day, some may think that is too long but I've seen kids use them longer...it's a security thing. Some need more than others.
It will get better...I wish for you many winks of sleep!!

[lmroswell]

Babies are so smart!  They quickly learn how to get what they want.  What about using a binky tether?  Those things that clip onto part of the babies clothing and then snap onto the pacifier itself.  That way, when the pacifier slips out of the mouth, it does not go far, and the baby is able to poke it back in.  Just make sure it's attached very securely and you use it as recommended.  We had our girls two years apart, and I never used such a thing witht the first baby.  But, when the second one came along, that little invention saved me a lot binky searching.  It hardly ever fell on the floor.  Both our girls were big on the pacifier.  When I felt they could handle it, they accidentally lost theirs while on a trip to the mall.  For me, it was an easy habit to break, but they were ready.  You have to think a few steps ahead of the game.  My kids were and are great sleepers also.  But, I did have to let them cry it out at night, so they didn't expect me to come in and soothe them.  It is a hard thing to do, but it is also important that the baby learn to fall asleep on his own.  At 8 weeks our first girl was sleeping through the night, and with the second one, it was 4 months.