social development

My son is 7 and in the first grade. He reading and math skills are well above grade level. He does have a tendancy to be impulsive but is able to control it when absolutely required (i.e. at school). At home, he is getting better with behavior but we still have to address issues repeatedly -- despite establishing consequences. He says "I forgot," frequently.  I believe this is in part due to his impulsivity. He is a rusher and very aware of time. He does not like to do a job very well-- he just likes to get it done-- we see this with his school work sometimes as well.

His social skills are concening me. At home he remembers his pleases and thank yous but in public he clamps down and mumbles.  With peers he is very eager to play but often turns other kids off by being too eager. Someti mes he tries to act very very goofy in order to fit in-- but this just turns the other kids off more. He plays with an 8 year old and 10 year old in the neighborhood-- and their relationship is often full of bickering (though they play every day). At school he says that no one picks him to be partner and they tell him to go away. He joins the kids on the playground but he says they are mean to him. In his organized sports he is not "one of the guys" though he plays the sports fairly well, listens to the coaches et cetera. Other kids seem to be turning away from him.

He has an unsual behavior that developed recently. He has to touch certain things a certain number of times. The floor, a pillow, the car door....he says it has to be even. Is this concerning or a phase?

We are on the waiting list to seek an evaluation by a psychologist-- partly for educational mapping as we are considering changing schools (just because we are interested in a different method-- not because he isn't doing well). We will address these issues as well but it will be a few months before we are evaluated. I am interested in your opinion now and what shall I do (if anything) in the meantime?

Thank you

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is not much to do while you wait; you are doing the right thing. His counting and ordering behavior may represent the onset of an anxiety disorder (obsessive-compulsive disorder). His social difficulties may represent a condition along the Pervasive Developmental Disorder spectrum, or he might display developmentally delayed social skills without accompanying emotional disorder. The goal of the evaluation will be to figure this out and, once figured out, to develop a treatment plan. One component of such a plan should be a social problem-solving/social skills group.