soiling his pants

[hazzerina]

my son is 11 going seniors in september but regulary messes himself i just dont no wat to do, he is being tested for adhd, he also seems very depressed at times and others really cant control his emotions pls help worried for him being bullied or anything

[margypops]

walk in his shoes ...see/think how he feels ....

[hazzerina]

His sister does  seem to catch the lime light very clever beautiful and able to chat and talk to others she doesnt no, whilst immediate family and close friends no this we do try to give george the praise and attention he needs. i have  an appt on 31 august lets hope we can get it sorted thanks for your help

[margypops]

He certainly sounds upset by something,perhaps some counselling may be a good idea, especially as his talking about death etc so yes I would speak to the Doctor ..maybe he feels left out somehow does he get the same quality attention his sister gets,some of his behaviors do sound extreme so I do feel some help is in order.good luck  

[jupsie]

I feel your pain...i have a grandson...no poopy pants but the worry thing he does have. They say it's anxiety. I wiil tell more if you respond to my post. But about the poopy pants issue, my boyfriends son  did this...omg it was unacceptable to me. They moved in with me at his age 11 and I would not tolerate it. My boyfriend made him write a essay on why this is unacceptable, of course we explained in detail why this sickening behaviour was not to be tolerated by anyone...including classmates, strangers, etc...its unsanitary, etc...sorry but we even had to talk down to him because it was just out of the question...no no no noooo...not acceptable. Not in my house. Guess what? He stopped.
ps  by the way, i met them when he was 7 or 8 and smelled like sh..t right from the get go. and figured out that he was never properly potty trained.

[hazzerina]

yes he has 1 little sister he adores although he says at times she is a pain dependant on his mood deters how good he will be with her, a big sister and 2 big brothers, he dont like his brothers he says cause they never come and see him, loves his big sister and sibling at home, When i say attention i mean he at times will just get up in class and do something else,  or chat with someone, If they doin a class talk if he knows the answer he cant wait to be asked then shouts out, then cant understand y he cant cause he thinks i was telling the answer.He often ends up crying through frustration because he is not being listened to or taken serious. he talks about blood death and dieing alot and draws lots of pics that have a grave  or something and puts rip, daggers with blood,  finds change very difficult, will often comment that his thick and stupid cant do it, says i bet you wish i werent here, u dont love me do you, i bet u like chloe more thats his sister at home, younger but totally different.  He can be very affectionate caring considerate other times moody, dont talk, head down, spitefull tells lots of lies. He seems to have lots of friends at school, but can also be a loaner and nasty at times.  When i say dangerous its things like when i had to let him out with friends this boy hit him next time he went out he did again i adventually said you will have to hit him and teech him, he did this really upset boy later boy returned with 15yr old kid said lets have a fight but not here over the back track, near train line, pitts alsorts, he said ok and went with them i found them the 15 yr old run away,got my son and said y did you go off he could have done anything to you, he could not understand the danger he put himself in he said no he was gonna watch me and jimmy fight.. another time i found him about to climb sea wall this goes into thames would die instantly, he would see an animal friend something he likes not thinking about the road or gettin lost. if i say to him nans coming later he asks me, how long will she be,when is nan coming,ring her,we might do something treat or film anything cannot mention it to soon because it will be like when r we going, can we go now,lets get in car,ring and see if we can go now pls let me. but to leave him in car while you pop to shop when i could come out he could  be screaming hysterically or shouting mum like hes lost me. considering all these things if were going out sometimes keeps asking have you diesel, do you know where were going, what would happen if we went wrong way, r u sure you no where to go. y dont you ring someone incase, constantley worries at times about, if his sister goes to a friend will often say i dont think you should let her, do you think you should let her ill pick her up, then at times will worry about her till home, keep asking how long will she be now, Do you think im worrying unnecasary or could he be suffering from something,

[margypops]

it is good to be able to get an idea of how you live and what has happened in his past, thank you, I know its not easy to put it down ...whatever your mom has said if you were being abused you did the right thing in leaving.,so put that guilt to rest ..I think that you are in another country,so the Dad who was abusive when he was with you is now a good Dad who takes your boy fishing and games ?A lot of children have a short attention span ,it could be some of the behavior you describe is because he is not comfortable socially,maybe just let him do that pay no attention to it..  .at 11 kids never see any danger, what danger do you mean ,he gets on well with his step mom I see as you say she is wonderful. t may be best to ignore his behaviors ,it could be it gets him attention, they dont sound extreme , does he have any step siblings? how does he get on with them ?  

[hazzerina]

My son did have trouble at school and like you thought this could be a factor but i changed his school 2 years ago, since new school he has caught up was 2 yrs behind, george has no concentration span, if i ask him to go and get pants and socks for school if he dont forget completely he may get 1 of the things this is quick example. Does not seem to see any danger in anything thinks he can beat the world, if we have family occasion when he arrives he will either hide under a table, be silly or say something unappropriate, or kick someone instead of saying hello, never seems to be very happy almost depressed at times or cant control his excitement and does something silly. When i say messes i mean he will poop his pants and untill i smell it or see he sits just leaves it, I find it really hard to deal with and no that im probably dealing with it wrong but am so worried that this could be on school bus or at school and  he will just be picked on and bullied again, and then it go from bad to worse. In sep he will be expected to go on school bus and im dreading it not just the poop bit, if someone says do this 9-10 he agrees and does it not thinking of the concequences.pls help me to help him they have said he has moderate adhd but have never treated him, i got in touch with another chat thing and they said sounds like he should have been treated years ago if it doesnt it will never change, and that he sounds like he has some sort of split personality, his dad is a manic depressive or has been known to be, cant control his temper again has been known to be violent, was tested for bi-polar not sure of the out come i split from dad, he was 2 at the time seemed ok but who knows, his dad and i now and have for 7 years got on great agree with rules if i dont allow something dad wont if dad dont agree i wont we stick together thru everything we are both re-married and get on brilliantly together with each others partners, his step mum is so wonderful to the point she is known as fairy mum cause she is so special totally adores the kids and her family are great. Again has loads of love and support from his grandparents and aunties and uncles, my mum has said that this could be because i left his dad, i left due to violence and not wanting my kids to be scared if there dad  was drunk cause he might hit them or smash house up, I had to live like this scared at times of saying something and getting a punch or maybe doing something by accident and him hitting u cause he thinks it was done on purpose, i remember having to lock myself in bathroom cause i was so scared calling me nasty names punching door and just thought he was going to kill me, it was then i decided that i was not going to let my kids live like i did and left when he was about 2ish i could c simalarities betwwen my dad and kids dad and thought i did the best thing but maybe not, My mum and i have different views on this as she thought it was better to stay and that she did not have any choice  but i dont agree and thought it would be better to do it alone and struggle as a single parent or letting my daughter live in fear most times remembering what it was like living like this for me at times, could my mum be right.Kids see there dad and family lots his dad has never not turned up always been supportive of me and at both homes have rules bed no later than 8-8.30 school nite bit later at wk ends if good or we doin something,  he dont play on hand games or consoles continually 1 a day same at dads. no coke or fizzy very seldomly for a treat. eats plenty meat fish pasta fish dont really enjoy fastfood or junk has always loved proper meals, has good appetite sorry to waffle but am trying to show you a bit of our lifestyle thanks for your time. His dad takes him fishing and hunting activities, game shows with my parents down farm with my dad and horses (my dad not drunk now for about 6 years) and is brilliant with my son.

[margypops]

I think it would be a good idea to check with the school and teachersto see if any bullying is going on , is he on any meds? when you say 'messes' it could be he doesnt wipe properly, so explain to him how to do it , maybe get him some wet wipes.Why is he being tested for adhd?