son's sexual behavior toward his mom

[jsks98]

   My wife and her 8 year old son(my stepson) just moved in with me 2 months ago and I have some minor concerns.  My wife has been living at home with her parents and son for the past five years prior to moving in with me on a full time bases.
  While living with her parents even tough her  son had his own room he slepts with is mom every night.  Here are some of my concerns:

He tends to touch his mom in the breasts and grion region while making it seem to be an accident.  This behavior doesn't happen alot just on occasions.  Often times when his mom is in the shower he finds a need to talk to her or go to the bathroom and pose questions such as " Mommy, what would happen if I saw you naked?" or " you know I've seen you naked before?".
  He told my daughters (from a previous marriage) that he has touched his Mom's  breasts while she sleeps.
  Even though he is 8 years old he is very small for for his age(the same size as most 5 to 6 year olds).  His mom is very feminine and he has many of her traits to the point that my Wife has asked me if I think he's going to be gay?


  Is this normal behavior for an 8 year old?
  Is he trying to figure out his own sexuality?

  Thanks for your help?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is not appropriate for your stepson to be sleeping with his mother. His behavior is not likely indicative of anything that strictly relates to his own sexual orientation. Rather, it's overly stimulating for him to be in the situation he finds himself, and limits have not been set. He should not be in the bathroom while his mother is showering; he should not be touching her the way he is; he should not be sleeping with her; he should not see her in a state of undress. It's time to be firm, while reasonable and even-handed, in setting some limits. He'll feel reassured and protected by such limit-setting.