Avatar universal
spitting
My 4 year old grandson keeps getting in trouble at school for spitting on other children.  He doesn't hit and is not a mean child.  His parents are having problems at home and this just started a couple of weeks ago and has just gotten worse.  They have paddled him and put him in his room without computer or t.v.  He went a week and now today he did it again after his dad explained to him before he dropped him off at school not to spit and have a good day at school.  He wants to keep him from coming to our house this weekend (we have him every Saturday night.  We are both very positive role models to him and he very seldom needs discipling when he is with us.  We leave for the beach next month and my son has told him that if he spits at school again he will not be aloud to go with us.  I dont think that should be counted as discipline as this is our yearly vacation with the grand children.
Cancel
3 Answers
Page 1 of 1
Avatar universal
Disciplining a child does include taking away vacations.  A child will think he can get away with anything if the big fun things aren't taken away during punishment.  I understand you don't want to be punished too, but that's part of the process.  It would be best if you support their decision rather than undermine it.  Sorry, but children need to understand the consequences of their actions.

p.s. - you say he's not a mean child and doesn't hit - but the spitting may be just a warm-up, so to speak, for hitting.  To a 4 year old, spitting does not justify getting hit in return.  All it will do is encourage him to use physical behavior to try to change other people's behavior.  I think at this point, you should worry more about what the "paddling" will do to him rather than worry about him missing a vacation to the beach.
Comment
Cancel
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
13167 tn?1327197724
He needs immediate punishment,  not something so far away as a vacation in a month.

The minute he does it,  he needs to be removed and a parent needs to come pick him up and it won't be fun.  

Four year olds really don't get delayed punishment at all - it's too abstract.

I think it would be cruel to keep him from family time for something as minor - and fixable - as spitting.
Comment
Cancel
13167 tn?1327197724
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
535822 tn?1443980380
and check out that no other older child around him isnt spitting ...children do copy and older children love to teach them to do stuff like this ...check out friends and family...anyone he plays alone with ...
Comment
Cancel
535822 tn?1443980380
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Your Answer
Avatar universal
Answer
Know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Submit Answer
A
A
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Child Behavior Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488 tn?1310696703
Blank
Marathon Running Done Over Many Yea...
05/15 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
233488 tn?1310696703
Blank
New Article on Multifocal IOL vs &q...
05/15 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
748543 tn?1463449675
Blank
TMJ/TMJ The Connection Between Teet...
01/15 by Hamidreza Nassery , DMD, FICOI, FAGD, FICCMOBlank
Top Children's Health Answerers
973741 tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
13167 tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
189897 tn?1441130118
Blank
Sandman2
San Pedro, CA