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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
stablility and visitation and the child's Temperament and personality 1st post
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
stablility and visitation and the child's Temperament and personality 1st post
by iratman, Oct 29, 2004 12:00AM
Hello,
IM currently going through a divorce and will be going into mediation over visitations. This will be my second divorce. IM concerned about the visitation that my soon to be x is proposing. She wants one day a week and every other weekend with I taking her back on the Sunday at 6pm on my weekends. Some history: from my first divorce we had a son and we agreed to joint physical custody 50%/50%. This would go as follows:
mon,tue with me weds,thurs with her fri,sat,sun me and then it would alternate to mon,tue her wed,thurs me fri,sat,sun her. All the pick ups were from daycare and then school he is now seven. He has ADHD and a shy temperament/personality and did not like change very much so much so that if he got to school at a later time and there were to much people there he would stay behind me until he could sit down and then everything would be ok. We had problems with the households being different with discipline but that was remedied and we would carry over disciplinary actions that started at one house over to the other and this really solved allot of problems. He seems well adjusted and I and his mom communicate almost daily about him. My question finally is about my daughter from the current divorce, she is 3 and will be 4 6/12/05. She is not shy and is very out-going and not only says hi to anybody and everybody she will sit down and have a complete conversation if there is time. Currently IM seeing her the 1 day a week and every other weekend. the day alternates and coincides with the days I have her brother as IM trying to maintain their relationship as best as I can. My concerns are when I pick her up from the sitters she is very excited!!! I mean very excited!! she keeps repeating daddy daddy daddy and her brothers name and basically she is giddy which makes me feel great. The thing is though she will not let me put her down for at least 2 hours after picking her up. I try to put her down but she starts to cry and stands in front of me until I pick her back up. Is this anxiety from so infrequent visitation? she tells me that she wants to stay with me for 5 days and starts planning what she wants to do tomorrow in the yard or where she wants to take a walk to etc.. But there is no tomorrow. She wakes up early around 5am and gets out of bed comes to my room and gets in( I wake up for work at 5:30am) If IM not looking at her as we lay there she starts to cry that "your not looking at me and it makes me sad" so of course I turn to her and look and she is satisfied. She "checks" if IM still looking at her by finding my face with her hand and as long as it is facing her general direction, everything is ok. Is this a sign of anything? IM running out of room I will post a second time
thanks
iratman
IM currently going through a divorce and will be going into mediation over visitations. This will be my second divorce. IM concerned about the visitation that my soon to be x is proposing. She wants one day a week and every other weekend with I taking her back on the Sunday at 6pm on my weekends. Some history: from my first divorce we had a son and we agreed to joint physical custody 50%/50%. This would go as follows:
mon,tue with me weds,thurs with her fri,sat,sun me and then it would alternate to mon,tue her wed,thurs me fri,sat,sun her. All the pick ups were from daycare and then school he is now seven. He has ADHD and a shy temperament/personality and did not like change very much so much so that if he got to school at a later time and there were to much people there he would stay behind me until he could sit down and then everything would be ok. We had problems with the households being different with discipline but that was remedied and we would carry over disciplinary actions that started at one house over to the other and this really solved allot of problems. He seems well adjusted and I and his mom communicate almost daily about him. My question finally is about my daughter from the current divorce, she is 3 and will be 4 6/12/05. She is not shy and is very out-going and not only says hi to anybody and everybody she will sit down and have a complete conversation if there is time. Currently IM seeing her the 1 day a week and every other weekend. the day alternates and coincides with the days I have her brother as IM trying to maintain their relationship as best as I can. My concerns are when I pick her up from the sitters she is very excited!!! I mean very excited!! she keeps repeating daddy daddy daddy and her brothers name and basically she is giddy which makes me feel great. The thing is though she will not let me put her down for at least 2 hours after picking her up. I try to put her down but she starts to cry and stands in front of me until I pick her back up. Is this anxiety from so infrequent visitation? she tells me that she wants to stay with me for 5 days and starts planning what she wants to do tomorrow in the yard or where she wants to take a walk to etc.. But there is no tomorrow. She wakes up early around 5am and gets out of bed comes to my room and gets in( I wake up for work at 5:30am) If IM not looking at her as we lay there she starts to cry that "your not looking at me and it makes me sad" so of course I turn to her and look and she is satisfied. She "checks" if IM still looking at her by finding my face with her hand and as long as it is facing her general direction, everything is ok. Is this a sign of anything? IM running out of room I will post a second time
thanks
iratman
Doctor's Answer
