teenage bedwetting

[casfrog]

my son is 13yo and still wets the bed regularly.  He had a 2 year period where he was at his driest between 10-12 yrs old. He's been doing this since Kindergarten on and off.  I was told to "wait" it out.  well, he's now 13 years old and in the past 8 months or so, has picked up the habit again.  I've had him evaluated by a urologist who told me that this was likely behavioral and was prescribed meds, Ditopan and DDAVP.  We had success, although briefly, with the DDAVP.  He developed Headaches and I researched the Medicine and decided to stop him on it.  My other concern is that my son does sleep over's and has ( at aunt's house) had the "accident" and then threw the clothes in the closet reeking for days until it was found.  when approached, he doesn't remember doing this.  Last night, he slept over a friends house, ahd the accident, and then cleaned it up.  He doesn't seem to care that he's ruined someone's furniture-- i've had to throw out beds and couches and carpets.  I've tried to help him help himself.  Laundry, he does but doesn't care about cleaning up the bed.  He was in therapy for family streesors and the therapist stated often that my son was completely normal.  I'm a tough love parent, but we do talk and have open communication.  He's a loner type of child and is 215lbs-- think football player, but really has no social life.  My primary concern is how do I help him help himself.  Is this normal for a 13 yo. Is there a support site I can access?
I don't feel comfortable doing vacations with him for fear of the embarrassment of what he may happens re: accidents

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The fact that your son is enuretic at night, even when he is not at home, indicates that it is very unlikely this matter is a primarily behavioral issue. This is also supported by the success he achieved while on the medication. It would not be unreasonable to have him see a mental health professional to address the matter, not so much with the intention of stopping it, but rather with a focus on how to manage the situation. This would include his feelings and thoughts about himself, the impact on his social lfe, how he handles the situation in the aftermath, etc. I'd revisit the option of medication also.

[Adl]

My older son is 15 and sounds very like the 13 year old above.  Since the age of seven we have tried all sorts of treatment intermittently,  allowing periods between in which we hoped the problem would resolve itself,  and trying to avoid making our son feel guilty about it (but he's not stupid - the whole rigamarole of seeking a solution to the problem makes sure he's aware there's a big flashing arrow over his head). We keep coming up against brick walls in every direction.  Each time we seen an 'expert' we have to go through the same process of questions about whether he's scared of the dark etc, urine tests and x rays, tick charts and advice about drinking in the evenings.  He still wets the bed nearly every night and has done so since birth.  We have tried different alarms (three times so far) since he was seven,  most recently last summer (2001).  The second time the mat (Malen) was too sensitive and would trigger from even light sweat,  so my son would sabotage attempts to use it.  The most recent alarm worked with a wire from alarm pinned to pyjamas to sensor in underpants.  The wire would pull out from underpants despite using safetypins etc to keep in place.  I ended up sleeping on the floor beside his bed to monitor if it worked - the sound of peeing would wake me,  and the alarm would be triggered after a delay of some time.... However I think this is probably the only method that may work given consistent follow through and it means someone sleeping within close earshot. But our problem is that he's now at boarding school so there's no one prepared to get up at night to do the necessary rousing and to check that he uses it. He's very resistent to using the alarm or anything that is 'obvious'- even at home.  He's currently on desmopressin which I'm not sure has any effect -he's wetting the bed when he's at at home despite taking it,  though he says it's working.  Three years ago he tried another drug which is often prescribed for elderly with incontinence - no result.  The consultant who prescribed it just told us to keep increasing the dose until he was taking double the maximum amount normally given to an old person (our GP expressed concern).  He was 12.  So we stopped it and dropped the consultant. We have also tried hypnotherapy - his father wet the bed till teenage too,  and was cured instantly by hypnotherapy. Our son does not like to consider the problem,  preferring to act as though it's not there.  He is supposed to strip his bed everymorning (home and school) and often 'forgets'.  He is very bright, ambitious, strong willed,  gregarous but individual type, likes parties but not a member of a group.  Likes team sports.  Very very untidy, scatty.  Loves being independent, with friends. Very typical mid-teenager.

[aaysmith]

A related discussion, Bedwetting at 15yrs was started.