toddler sexual behavior

I am uncertain as to normal sexual behavior in a toddler.  I am a stay at home mom and rarely leave my children except with a babysitter that we have used for quite some time.  Beginning last week my 3 year old son (soon to be 4) started displaying an increase in sexual behavior.  The behavior began with playing a "secret game" with his 2 year old sister and he was attempting to take off his underwear and have his sister do the same.   I asked what he was doing and he said it was a secret.  I let it go momentarily because i was at a loss how to handle it.  Then they were playing with her barbie and he took her clothes off and wanted to be alone in his room with the barbie-i peeked in to see the naked barbie on the bed and he was about to take off his underwear.  As a result, I spoke with my son and explained to him that it was not appropriate to take off his underwear and has his sister do the same.  I also explained that i understood he thought the barbie was pretty but it was not appropriate behavior.  Anyhow, since this occurrence he will have self imposed erection at least once a day and it could occur when he is suppose to be using the bathroom or in the bathtub.  My first question is what behavior is appropriate and at what point should i be concerned?  My second question is how do i handle it correctly?  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Young boys experience erections - that is normal. In and of itself that is not an issue you need to address. Relative to his behavior with his sister, it is important to set a firm limit on undressing together and touching each other. As far as the behavior with the doll is concerned, you might talk with him about what made him have the idea of undressing on his bed with the doll. It is likely he witnessed something that inspired this behavior, though you may never know. It does not sound like anything you meed to address urgently with his pediatrician, unless you discover there has been any sexual mistreatment involved.

[boyandgirlmom]

Maybe I am incorrect about the self imposed erection.  The reason I used that terminology was because I thought he brought it on because it would be when he was in the bathtub or going to the bathroom and he was definitely was aware of the erection.  To clarify, the secret game has only happened once and i have asked him numerous times if he has played this with anyone and that it is okay to tell mommy secrets-he insists that he made the game up.  I would be highly surprised if this babysitter were to allow them to watch inappropriate programming but I would not allow that to be overlooked.  I have been paying attention and there has not been any additional secret game play or involvement of his sister; however, the erections have been more frequent.  

[boyandgirlmom]

We have 15 kids on our cul de sac ranging from 3 months to 15 years of age.  With that being said I am very aware of where my children are and who they are playing with and what they are playing.  I don't allow my kids into other people's houses without me being there.  I cannot think of a time that my kids are alone with other people.  We go to church but the nursery always has two workers in the nursery and there was not a moment of hesitation there.  In fact, my husband is never alone with my children, he often works late nights and i always bathe them.  The thing with my babysitter does not make sense because she has not been around for about a month and these behaviors began less than a week ago.  Is it feasible to think that he made up the game himself-that is what he has told me and i have asked him multiple times.  Should I continue to push the issue?  I have all intentions of speaking with my pediatrician about the behavior...I was going to wait till his physical but it might behoove me to proceed with the conversation as quickly as possible.    

[cooldaddy640]

I am an Uncle and I have a neice that is 3 years old and she made statement about uncle john pee pee why she say something like that? Now her mother heard her say it and she ask her 3 year old daughter what did you said, and she repeated. As I stood there and listening to her, her mother toalk to her. I want some answer, and is wrong for me to teach a child about sex in the right way and have her to understand about sex at ages 3-10 before they get 21 of age? Because I hve been studing lots sex on my lap top and its very exciting to me and it is good for me to help childrens, but I know have some experince or some master degree. I like to help the parents with their kids. I hope my letter can be some help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, you should not be talking with a three-year-old about sex. It is not your business to be dealing with this at all. You are not her parent. Stop it.

[CAZNUKI]

i think that teaching a child between 3 to 10 is wrong they to young to under stand anything like that i think if you speak to a child at such a young age about sex is perverted let them grow up an then learn about adult stuff espicily if your not the parent i certainly wouldnt like my children to be told stuff like that so young an by someone esle

[Chasity137]

Why would you take it upon your self to teach other people's children about sex let alone a three year old you sound like a pervert you need help.

[preety196]

A related discussion, child sexual behavior. was started.