toilet resistance

Our son is 4 1/2 years old.  He has been partially potty trained for five or six months.  The problem is on most days he has at least two accidents (wetting).  If he doesn't wet, he will often go just a small amount in his pants.  He will dance or run around in circles, but if we ask him if he has to go, he will say no.  If we insist that he at least try, he will resist all the way to the toilet and then go.  He can stay dry if he wants to - he hasn't had an accident at preschool for several months.  Also, at times he will tell us he has to go or even just go by himself.

We have tried rewarding him for staying dry.  We have tried taking away priveledges.  We go home if we are out and he wets.  When he wets, he is responsible for changing his clothes and putting the wet ones next to the washer.  We are starting to be concerned because he is scheduled to start kindergarten in the fall and he must be fully trained for that.

HELP!!  What can we do?  Is this normal for boys?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ramonma,

There is no need to be alarmed. There's every indication your son will proceed just fine. Continue to reward him, and remove the punishment component of the behavior management plan. Also, when it's clear to you that he needs to use the bathroom, don't ask him - you are only inviting a problem. Simply tell him to use the bathroom. Dr. KDK