touching mom inappropriately

[aracelyl]

I have a concern, my almost 7 year old boy who is in all a very good kid has been trying to touch my genitals inappropriately. I am a 23 year old mom with two boys 7 and 2 he has been having this kind of behavior where he will try to touch me mostly when he thinks I am asleep. It has happen around 4 times since he was 4 or 5 years old. He will act like if he where to hug me, then he will either touch my behind or try to touch my front private parts. We have had private talks why him since the beginning about touching anybody inappropriately including his sibling and strangers, we have asked him if anybody is doing it to him, we even ask him separate my husband and I, but he calmly says that nobody has ever touch him and that he knows it is inappropriate to touch anybody's private parts but the conversations with him seem not to work. It is concerning me now because it recently happened we had a sleep over in my room to watch cartoons because my youngest still sleeps in his crib in my room and we wanted to include him, he thought I was asleep he touched my back several times trying to hug me and then touched my behind I immediately turned around and asked him what he was doing and he denied it and said it was his little brother which he admitted the next morning when my husband had a conversation about the same the next day but he wouldn't say why he does it. I am really confused because I don't know who to ask if this behavior is nomal I know in my heart he is not being abused he is a very happy child, he has never done it to anybody else I haven't seen him masturbating or anything we don't watch any kind of rated r movies around them that may trigger that behavior I really want to get him help if he needs it. I am beginning to get uncomfortable even when he hugs me and it feels awful to feel that way with my own son I love him but I need to know if this is normal and if this will not affect his adulthood please I need advice thank you.

[Emily_Mci]

I’m not one to comment usually, but I came across this comment in a search. I just wanted to ask how you are doing now? My opinion on this, is that you and your husband are being far too hard on yourselves. This type of behavior is really normal! I think it’s our reaction as parents that can set them up for failure, by shaming and judging. I can hear the worry, and I’m sorry you’re having so much concern. Have either of you had trauma in your past, or something that might have been triggered? It might be a good idea to explore what it was that made you so uncomfortable, because this kind of exploration in kids, while it may seem weird to us, is perfectly normal. I hope this is helpful, and sending you my best.

[baffledandsad]

Help!I know this post was two years ago but I am going through the same thing.Just found out my kids have been VERY inappropriately touching me while I have been asleep.My son is 8 and my daughter is 6.They have been doing things inappropriately to themselves and each other too.My husband and I are baffled,confused,completely grossed out,sad,and scared because we don't understand why they would violate me while I'm asleep.We are trying to get to the bottom of this and it appears no adult has ever molested them or gave them the idea to do this.We are a normal loving family that has just been torn apart when my husband finally questioned them and learned the full extent of what innapropriate stuff they have been doing and that they have violated me.Has anyone heard of a similar situation?This is so bizarre and gross that we don't even know where to turn.We know that if we go to counselors with this bizarre scenario that the information will be quickly misconstrued and misinterpreted with disastrous consequences.We love our children and don't want our family wrongfully torn apart.We have never been anything but loving parents and always private and appropriate with our children.After grilling them to try to get to the bottom of this and find out if they got these perverted ideas from any adult,it appears that they came up with the ideas to do these gross things all on their own and they simply said they have been doing it because it felt good.I know that it is somewhat common for siblings to get caught playing doctor innapropriately but why would children then turn around and violate their own mother while she is sleeping.We don't do drugs or drink.I must be a heavy sleeper.I am just so grossed out and baffled to learn how my kids violated me while I slept while pretending to just crawl in bed to cuddle with me.Does anyone have any answers???
        Devastated,heartbroken mother

[MLJM]

As a sex therapist, while this seems “taboo,” it is actually party of healthy sexual development. Fetuses have been known to touch genitalia in the womb. Makes sense they do it outside too. At this age, they are comparing themselves to others. They notice boys and girls look differently, and mommy’s body looks differently from there’s. While it seems odd and scary or confusing, it really is a part of natural sexual exploration. And it is a great opportunity to address those conversations without shame, which sets you all up for success. People don’t really talk about common experiences such as playing “doctor” and exploring, practicing kissing with siblings or friends, etc.  I believe the big issue (or teaching moment) here is consent. You did not give them your consent to be touched. And that’s an important lesson.  Hope this helps!