trauma

what is the cause of mononucleosus? as a child thats the diagnosis I received.  I dont agree with it though.  I remember feeling tired for a day, so tired drugged even.  A day later I felt sick and wierd.  After that I got worse, swollen glands by my throat high fever, vomiting.  After that I became so sick I could barley breathe.  no air through my nose barley any through my throat.  I had been up for days, with no sleep.  Not knowing what was wrong with me I was panicing.  Fearing death I remember being delusional.  It was horrible, absolutley horrible.  Eventually I remember feeling drugged again, not recollecting how I got to the chair I slept in, the tv was on loud and my abusive father sat their.  THe tv was so loud I got up and was crying wondering what was wrong with me and things were a blur.  Opiates I'm guessing.  My dad told me to go back to bed and I did.  I missed a month of school.  Today I am eighteen and when I talk about it or think of it too much I cry on the inside.  What could have happened to me?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Marl,

Mononucleosis is a disorder of the white blood cells; it is caused by a virus. Typical symptoms include fatigue, weakness, sore throat, fever, weight loss, enlarged lymph nodes and an enlarged spleen.

Your note is a bit confusing. It's possible that you are recollecting an experience when you were adversely affected by fever, lack of sleep (and, consequently, sleep deprivation) etc. But the upsetting, troubling nature of the memory may indicate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (you mention an abusive father).

Whatever the case, it might help you to schedule an appointment with a mental health clinician to help you sort this out and determine a plan to help you.