trip behavior

[benjimom]

We just got back from visiting famly out of town.  My son has sensory processing disorder.  He seemed to revert back to some old ways during the trip. I assume it is from overstimulation, being out of routine, etc. It seemed hard for him to be with some people, didn't always want to talk a lot.  Then other times, he seemed not to have much patience, one time in the car, eh was hungry and kept repeating, I'm hungry over and over again. Another time, we were on our way to meet some other family an hour away and he kept asking, how long, how long, over and over again.  Then other times would just get really hyped up. We are back home, hoping he will setttle back down.  

[benjimom]

Thanks rockrose,  good to hear it.  Yes, the thirst is like an emergency!!  So is hunger and the drink must be the right temperature too.  It's really tough.  Yes, people think you just let them get away with murder too.  Also, my mom said my dad (his grandfather) didn't feel like they connected. HE would talk to my son and he would not talk back much, but he's shy too and then meeting a lot of new people is TOUGH. I used to hate that as a kid too. I have to admit I did not like going to family reunions, etc and seeing people I had not seen in a long time, etc.  He had not spent a lot of time with him in recent months. They used to visit here more.  My dad is stressed too and not the most conversive too, kids can sense that.

He did hiss at someone in Chickfila, the parent said he was spitting, but I think they misinterpret the hissing as spitting. It's like he gets his area and he doesn't want people in it.  

We went to visit his other grandpa who smokes and lives in a tiny apt. that's tough for him to go into as well.  It's also hard for him to just sit while I talk.  I don't like the smoke smell either.  Of course, many people don't, but just force themselves to tolerate it.  

He had his ups and downs.  

[RockRose]

hi Benjimom.  Talking about sensory issues is so interesting to me.  My dear friend whose 3 kids all have SID has moved away,  but she used to have the MOST interesting discussions about brains and coping and stimulus - it's really fascinating how our brains work.

Her oldest son couldn't ride in the car for long - the hum of the car absolutely drove him up the wall and he couldn't tune it out like others can.  You know how if you're in a room with many conversations going on,  if someone is having a conversation right next to you,  you can still manage to focus on listening to a conversation going on a little farther away - and quieter - by just tuning it in?  (It's not perfect,  it's hard,  but you can tune in and tune out sensory input that you want to listen to,  or see,  or feel over other sensory input that's going on at the same time).    Her kids couldn't do that.  All the sensory input was taken in at the level of volume that it actually was,  and tuning things in and out don't work at all.

So.  Her oldest son,  when he got thirsty on a trip couldn't tune that out and put that thirst  on hold.  We were stuck in heavy traffic - couldn't get off for about 1/2 hour to get him a drink,  and the whole time all he kept wailing about was that he was thirsty.  Continuously.  Finally,  she got him a drink and he drank a little of it and then was okay.  But he only drank just a little - he wasn't dehydrated or anything,  I guess his mouth was a little dry or something.  

The whole reason I bring this up is,  it seems like there will be people with two attitudes - people who empathize with the baggage he is carrying and over look the rough edges,  and people who just see the rough edges and so when you say relatives don't understand,  you're so right and that makes a difficult time more difficult.

If he were on crutches and couldn't get around,  everyone would excuse all those difficulties.  But the  thing is,  outsiders can't always see the crutches kids are using,  because they're internal.  

Best wishes.  I think you're doing a fabulous job with him.

[specialmom]

Yes, the interrupting is common as well as anxiety.  He was definately ot of his comfort zone, his need to "speak" to you was intensified.  Also sensory kid slack great impulse control.  It is really hard to stop themselves from interrupting.  Many kids are like this in general though.  It is just a little worse with a sensory kid.

I'm glad school is going better!  That is huge!  And I agree, often people don't understand what it is like trying to raise a sensitive, sensory kid.  Much to do and think about in doing this job.  Sometimes we mom's need a break and I hope that you occasionally give yourself one.  We need to recharge our batteries here and there.

I actually think it is great that your son is loving your mom!  Those connections are so valuable to self esteem.  We recently got a dog. It has been great for my son.  He feels like he always has a best friend which brings him much happiness.  They do up the work and chaos----------  but maybe down the road your son would enjoy having a dog live with him.  

Anyway, glad things are going better over all.  No tantrums on the trip, right?  That is good!  

[benjimom]

Thanks, specialmom, yes school is going better, thankfully!!  But he had his ups and downs on the trip. my sister in law said her son who is 6 complains about car rides, so guess that's pretty common.  Time crawls to kids.  We did go to the pool and that helped. He didn't seem really interested in meeting some fo the relatives. He's really gotten attached to my mom (his grandmother) and seems to love her and she has a beagle that he loves and likes to care for.  I think also the dogs make it more OVER-stimulating too.

Yes, it is hard to raise a sensory kid, it takes everything you got!!  

I don't think relatives always understand.  

He also seemed to be more anxious and was interrupting me a lot when I was trying to visit with people on our trip.  His voice sounds very anxious and urgent. Is that common in sensory kids.

Yes, overall better, but we do have some ups and downs, but overall better.  It takes time I know.....

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, sensory kids thrive on routine and the norm.  When they are out of it, their sensory systems go heywire.  What we think will be super fun feels quite uncomfortable for a child with a nervous system issue.  I would go for distraction next time.  Get that portable dvd player on, have snacks in the car, and have something new to do such as a fun book to look at, a drawing thing, or little game.  And lots of breaks to stop and move.  I'd never get in the car for a journey if we hadn't had 45 minutes or more of the "heavy work" that you have probably learned all about in OT.  If you are in a hotel, hit the pool before leaving.  Or run around the parking lot.  Or move the chair around the room.  Whatever, but plan these activities into his day.  It will help him stay regulated while traveling.  good luck.  Boy, it can be hard raising a sensory kid sometimes, huh?  I hope overall that your boy is doing better.  It sounds like school is going better.

[benjimom]

Hes back home this morning and with his own toys and stuff and his own foods, etc.  His comfort zone I guess. It's back to school today too.

[margypops]

I think that you have hit the nail on the head over stimulation,I have heard children when bored who dont have a sensory problem say over and over 'how long' that seems normal to me children do get bored on journeys .They do better very often in their own environment .good luck